Everytime I tell somebody I snore, no one would belive me because I am so slim and relatively young. Actually it was one of my roommates in university who first told me about this embarassing problem. In the next 14 years, it was never a problem for myself, but things changed after my BF and I started living together two years ago. My snoring noise keeps him awake and wakens him up. Sometimes we even considering to sleep in seperate bedrooms, but the dilemma is, we don't want to scarifice the intimacy.
So, in March, I finally brought up this problem to my family doctor, and he referred me to a specialist. Two weeks later, the specialist gave me a simple check and suspected I may have the problem of Apnea, which refers to interrupted breathing which can last 10 seconds or longer. To be sure, he referred me to do a sleep study.
In a Friday evening of middle April, I went to the sleep study center at Bayview/Finch. The nurse was a chubby white lady, very friendly and professional. She used something like wax to stick more than twenty sensors on my head and legs. (With that much of wax, my hairstyle was funkier than the craziest punk.) She also put a mini mic below my nose (to record the snoring), two belts around my chest (to monitor breath) and a clip on my finger (to monitor the oxygen in my body). And then I was led into one of the six tiny bedrooms and.....go to sleep. There was also a night-vision camera in the room.
As you may expect, the sleep was not very good because of the uncomfortablenss. In the moring (about 5:00AM), I paged the nurse because I needed to pee, and after that she said the study was done. Before I left, I filled out a questionaire about how I felt about my sleep (i.e, how often I waked up, etc).
As arranged in advance, two weeks later I saw the specialist for the second time. Surprisingly, he did not read my sleep study report until I sit on the chair. He quickly browsed it and told me I had 20 times of breath interruption per hour while a normal person should have fewer than 10 times. His conclusion: I have medium Apnea.
What should I do? He provided following options:
1) Sew a pocket on my back of my sleepwear and put a tennis ball in it, so I can't sleep on my back;
2) Use a speical pressure air mask which will keep my air way open all the time. It is not very necessary for my case and it is very inconvenient;
3) Use mouthpiece which the patient puts in mouth to prevent snoring (I can ask my dentist for it but it is not covered by OHIP);
4) Have a surgery, which is covered by OHIP. I need to stay one night at hospital and recovery at home for ten days. It could be painful.
My decision? Not made yet....
Thursday, June 23, 2005
Saturday, June 11, 2005
打入主流？
XXX的发言：
主流和肤色,民族,文化和干? 主流是要 professional, 毛主席说黑猫白猫都是猫, 抓到老鼠就是主流猫? 人又何成不是.
主流当然说的是主流文化啦！与文化无关？这倒是第一次听说。
我认识的新移民里做professional的很多：工程师，会计师，牙医。他们的收入与西人不相上下，但其中大部分人都不敢号称自己已经“打入主流”，因为对一个被中华文化熏陶了二三十年的成年人来说，重头学习西方文化并且自得其乐是很困难的。
邓小平(好像不是毛主席吧)说的“不管黑猫白猫, 抓到老鼠的就是好猫”，对于我们中国移民来说应该翻译为：不管这活那活，能挣大钱就是好活。很多中国移民非要在professional这一棵树上吊死，刨根溯源应该是“万般皆下品，唯有读书高”的翻版，同时也来源于中国社会中脑力劳动者与体力劳动者收入的巨大差别，以及前者对后者毫不掩饰的歧视。
但在加拿大，这种收入差别小多了。我所在公司的车间技术工人和坐办公室的工程师想比，收入差不了多少。歧视呢，不能说在加拿大绝对没有，但至少很小或者说隐藏得很深。
常言道“退一步海阔天空”。如果能跳出“读本地学历，找技术工作”这个万人挤破头的独木桥，很多人也许能发现更多的机会：专业厨师，汽车技师，按摩师......。怕丢了专业知识？很多人在国内读工程的到外企当销售员的时候，好像也没谁抱怨把专业丢了啊。说到底，还是面子思想作怪。
算我多嘴吧。
(Originally posted on Beitong on August 8, 2004)
向陌生人“COME OUT”
今天闲来无事，和BF一起去逛家具店。
进门不久，正在专注流览的时候，我突然听见一句中文：“两位需要看些什么吗？”抬头一看，原来是一位SALESWOMAN，一身职业套装，满脸亲切微笑，听口音也应该是中国大陆的新移民。(现在多伦多的中国移民成了气候，很多大商店不敢忽视这股购买力，都纷纷雇用了讲普通话的店员。)
“我们就随便看看...”我们敷衍道。不过这位女士很懂推销之道，很快就跟我们讨论起家具搭配，购买预算等问题来。
突然，也许是不经意地，也许是忍不住好奇，她问道：“你们俩是什么关系呀？”(在这么一个Suburban区，在这么一个IKEA opposite的店，两个一起挑家具的小伙子确实很扎眼。)
What the hell! 我心理暗想，这跟买家具有关系吗？但一转念，有啥可隐瞒的？我倒要看一看，一个普通中国新移民对同性恋的反应。
“我们是一家子。”我答道。
“噢，不过你们看着可不像兄弟。”
“我们是COMMON LAW。”
“......”
她楞了一下，两秒钟后终于反应了过来，不过笑容变得有点僵硬。“那...那也就是朋友关系啦...”她勉强笑着，有点不好意思，好像在COME OUT的不是我们，而是她自己。
BF觉得这个情景很有意思，又假装问：“您如果对接待我们不comfortable的话，我们可以找别人。”
“不用不用。”到底是训练有素，很快就恢复了常态。
......
回到家，我们笑道：这位女士今天下班后第一件是就是对她老公说：“嘿，我今天上班碰上一件新鲜事，你绝对想不到......”
(Originally posted on Beitong on April 4, 2004)
进门不久，正在专注流览的时候，我突然听见一句中文：“两位需要看些什么吗？”抬头一看，原来是一位SALESWOMAN，一身职业套装，满脸亲切微笑，听口音也应该是中国大陆的新移民。(现在多伦多的中国移民成了气候，很多大商店不敢忽视这股购买力，都纷纷雇用了讲普通话的店员。)
“我们就随便看看...”我们敷衍道。不过这位女士很懂推销之道，很快就跟我们讨论起家具搭配，购买预算等问题来。
突然，也许是不经意地，也许是忍不住好奇，她问道：“你们俩是什么关系呀？”(在这么一个Suburban区，在这么一个IKEA opposite的店，两个一起挑家具的小伙子确实很扎眼。)
What the hell! 我心理暗想，这跟买家具有关系吗？但一转念，有啥可隐瞒的？我倒要看一看，一个普通中国新移民对同性恋的反应。
“我们是一家子。”我答道。
“噢，不过你们看着可不像兄弟。”
“我们是COMMON LAW。”
“......”
她楞了一下，两秒钟后终于反应了过来，不过笑容变得有点僵硬。“那...那也就是朋友关系啦...”她勉强笑着，有点不好意思，好像在COME OUT的不是我们，而是她自己。
BF觉得这个情景很有意思，又假装问：“您如果对接待我们不comfortable的话，我们可以找别人。”
“不用不用。”到底是训练有素，很快就恢复了常态。
......
回到家，我们笑道：这位女士今天下班后第一件是就是对她老公说：“嘿，我今天上班碰上一件新鲜事，你绝对想不到......”
(Originally posted on Beitong on April 4, 2004)
IKEA里的同志招贴画
前几天去逛IKEA，发现店内又重新布置了，他们把DEMO区按照不同的LIFE STYLE，划分为“40平米的生活”，“60平米的生活”等主题，让人觉得情趣盎然。
有意思的是，其中“40平米的生活”的招贴画居然是两个帅小伙，一个系着围裙在做菜，另一个端着一杯红酒凑过来，微笑着作欣赏状：显然是一对同志伴侣嘛。
不愧是北欧的公司，对同志的友好态度让人敬佩。
下面的文章是关于1994年IKEA在美国作的一个以GAY COUPLE为主角的电视广告。这个广告被认为是广告界第一次在美国正面接触GAY RELATIONSHIP: This groundbreaking, famous spot for Swedish furniture maker IKEA made news around the world, though it was rarely seen. It features a male couple shopping for a dining room table together. The two middle-aged guys, who finish each other's sentences, say "a leaf means commitment." At the end, one says, "We've got another leaf waiting for when we REALLY start getting along" -- perhaps implying having children.
文章最后提到此广告的最终命运：The IKEA ad disappeared only a few weeks after it began when the retailer got a bomb threat at a store from conservatives, along with calls for a boycott.
如想阅读全文并观看此广告，请点击以下联接：
http://www2.commercialcloset.org/cgi-bin/iowa/portrayals.html?record=76
(Originally posted on Beitong on December 13, 2003
有意思的是，其中“40平米的生活”的招贴画居然是两个帅小伙，一个系着围裙在做菜，另一个端着一杯红酒凑过来，微笑着作欣赏状：显然是一对同志伴侣嘛。
不愧是北欧的公司，对同志的友好态度让人敬佩。
下面的文章是关于1994年IKEA在美国作的一个以GAY COUPLE为主角的电视广告。这个广告被认为是广告界第一次在美国正面接触GAY RELATIONSHIP: This groundbreaking, famous spot for Swedish furniture maker IKEA made news around the world, though it was rarely seen. It features a male couple shopping for a dining room table together. The two middle-aged guys, who finish each other's sentences, say "a leaf means commitment." At the end, one says, "We've got another leaf waiting for when we REALLY start getting along" -- perhaps implying having children.
文章最后提到此广告的最终命运：The IKEA ad disappeared only a few weeks after it began when the retailer got a bomb threat at a store from conservatives, along with calls for a boycott.
如想阅读全文并观看此广告，请点击以下联接：
http://www2.commercialcloset.org/cgi-bin/iowa/portrayals.html?record=76
(Originally posted on Beitong on December 13, 2003
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
向弟弟“出柜”的家书 (July 8, 2004)
弟弟，弟妹
你们好。
我对婚姻的消极态度，你们感到疑惑，这我非常理解。经过很长时间的考虑，我决定告诉你们我隐瞒了二十年的秘密：我不喜欢女人，换句话说，我是同性恋。
你们读到这里的心情，我可以想象。但是要解释清楚这个问题，足够写一本书，或者谈上几天几夜。笔墨所限，这里我只想作几点解释：
1) 你们对同性恋的看法大部分来自国内封闭保守的媒体。不管有些人持多么厌恶鄙视的态度，但他们不得不承认，自己对真实的同性恋者没有任何基本概念。所以，那些负面的看法，与六七十年代中国人对西方的负面看法一样，都是基于别人的灌输和自己的臆想。
2) 我不是因为出了国才“变”成同性恋的。正好相反，我是因为自己是同性恋才迫不得已出国，以逃避父母和社会的压力。
3) 不管什么种族，文化背景，或者受教育程度，同性恋大约总人口的5%左右。同性恋的成因众说纷纭，但科学界普遍认为先天因素占主导地位。我在十五岁左右就已经清楚地知道我喜欢男孩。
4) 同性恋者并不是多数人想象的那样是“误入歧途”或者“道德败坏”。这条路不是我们主观选择的。跟左撇子一样，这是天生的，是造物主的恶作剧。左撇子可以忍受被强制改造。但同性恋与异性结婚注定了没有幸福，只有双方的痛苦和家庭的悲剧。
5) 同性恋不是病。1993年，世界卫生组织把同性恋从公认的精神病名单中去掉。2001年，《中国精神障碍分类与诊断标准》第三版也将同性恋从精神疾病名单中剔除。而且，同性恋无法改变也无须改变，这已经是国际科学界和医学界的共识。
6) 同性恋不等于艾滋病。只要坚持安全的性行为，同性恋并不比异性恋更容易感染艾滋病毒。
7) 我是同性恋并不等于我不会幸福。加拿大的三个省已经允许同性配偶注册结婚，由此可见同性恋的权利在加拿大的受保护程度。我和我的朋友已经同居两年多，而且一起买了车买了房。爸爸上次来美国见过他，我们同是TH88级的，但到了多伦多才相互认识。
你们如果想了解更多的信息，可以访问下面的几个网站：
http://www.gaychinese.net
http://www.csssm.org
我告诉你们这个最大的秘密，是因为我信任你们，同时也相信你们能够摒弃一般人的偏见，以开放的态度对待自己不熟悉的事物。但是如果你们一时不能接受这个事实，我也可以理解，毕竟，我自己也是经过了这么多年的痛苦挣扎才认同自己的。
同时可以想象，这个秘密对爸妈来说，会是一个多么巨大的打击，所以现阶段你们一定要对所有人绝对保密。否则万一传到他们耳朵里，后果不堪设想。
今年我就要满34岁了，来自爸妈的压力越来越大，所以写这封信也是向你们求助，让你们帮我拿主意：是应该继续隐瞒下去，还是应该在某个适当的时候向他们坦白？
好，这次就写这么多吧。如果你们愿意，我们三人可以通电话，你们选一个时间，通知我，然后我打给你们。
祝好！
J
------------------------------------------
Below is the letter from my sister-in-law:
哥:你好!
邮件已经看到,请你放心,我们会为你保密.
说实话在刚看到你的邮件时,我们有一点惊讶,但没有其他的感觉,说是理解吧,好象还差一点,说什么鄙视吧,没有.没有原因,因为你是我们的哥哥,是和我们有着血缘关系的亲人,所以你的一切,包括好的,还是一般人认为的不好的,我们都会支持你,帮助你,任何的问题让我们一起来解决.
至于你目前的情况,我认为对于父母来讲最好是永远的秘密,因为毕竟他们是传统的老人,我看我们就一起撒一个美丽的谎言,也保存你在他们心中的骄傲,让他们永远还是以你为荣.
最近爸妈都知道我们有邮件的往来,慢慢的我会自然的让他们知道你已经谈恋爱了,那个女孩挺不错,你们挺好,但你们对婚姻的看法和国内不同,你们会考虑晚一点结婚. 那样他们才会放弃给你介绍上海的那个女孩,省省事.
哦,听爸妈说你九月份要回来,到时我们好好聊聊.到时把你的朋友的照片带回来看看,看他帅不帅.忠心的希望你们幸福,快乐,美满.
L.N.
2004.7.9
你们好。
我对婚姻的消极态度，你们感到疑惑，这我非常理解。经过很长时间的考虑，我决定告诉你们我隐瞒了二十年的秘密：我不喜欢女人，换句话说，我是同性恋。
你们读到这里的心情，我可以想象。但是要解释清楚这个问题，足够写一本书，或者谈上几天几夜。笔墨所限，这里我只想作几点解释：
1) 你们对同性恋的看法大部分来自国内封闭保守的媒体。不管有些人持多么厌恶鄙视的态度，但他们不得不承认，自己对真实的同性恋者没有任何基本概念。所以，那些负面的看法，与六七十年代中国人对西方的负面看法一样，都是基于别人的灌输和自己的臆想。
2) 我不是因为出了国才“变”成同性恋的。正好相反，我是因为自己是同性恋才迫不得已出国，以逃避父母和社会的压力。
3) 不管什么种族，文化背景，或者受教育程度，同性恋大约总人口的5%左右。同性恋的成因众说纷纭，但科学界普遍认为先天因素占主导地位。我在十五岁左右就已经清楚地知道我喜欢男孩。
4) 同性恋者并不是多数人想象的那样是“误入歧途”或者“道德败坏”。这条路不是我们主观选择的。跟左撇子一样，这是天生的，是造物主的恶作剧。左撇子可以忍受被强制改造。但同性恋与异性结婚注定了没有幸福，只有双方的痛苦和家庭的悲剧。
5) 同性恋不是病。1993年，世界卫生组织把同性恋从公认的精神病名单中去掉。2001年，《中国精神障碍分类与诊断标准》第三版也将同性恋从精神疾病名单中剔除。而且，同性恋无法改变也无须改变，这已经是国际科学界和医学界的共识。
6) 同性恋不等于艾滋病。只要坚持安全的性行为，同性恋并不比异性恋更容易感染艾滋病毒。
7) 我是同性恋并不等于我不会幸福。加拿大的三个省已经允许同性配偶注册结婚，由此可见同性恋的权利在加拿大的受保护程度。我和我的朋友已经同居两年多，而且一起买了车买了房。爸爸上次来美国见过他，我们同是TH88级的，但到了多伦多才相互认识。
你们如果想了解更多的信息，可以访问下面的几个网站：
http://www.gaychinese.net
http://www.csssm.org
我告诉你们这个最大的秘密，是因为我信任你们，同时也相信你们能够摒弃一般人的偏见，以开放的态度对待自己不熟悉的事物。但是如果你们一时不能接受这个事实，我也可以理解，毕竟，我自己也是经过了这么多年的痛苦挣扎才认同自己的。
同时可以想象，这个秘密对爸妈来说，会是一个多么巨大的打击，所以现阶段你们一定要对所有人绝对保密。否则万一传到他们耳朵里，后果不堪设想。
今年我就要满34岁了，来自爸妈的压力越来越大，所以写这封信也是向你们求助，让你们帮我拿主意：是应该继续隐瞒下去，还是应该在某个适当的时候向他们坦白？
好，这次就写这么多吧。如果你们愿意，我们三人可以通电话，你们选一个时间，通知我，然后我打给你们。
祝好！
J
------------------------------------------
Below is the letter from my sister-in-law:
哥:你好!
邮件已经看到,请你放心,我们会为你保密.
说实话在刚看到你的邮件时,我们有一点惊讶,但没有其他的感觉,说是理解吧,好象还差一点,说什么鄙视吧,没有.没有原因,因为你是我们的哥哥,是和我们有着血缘关系的亲人,所以你的一切,包括好的,还是一般人认为的不好的,我们都会支持你,帮助你,任何的问题让我们一起来解决.
至于你目前的情况,我认为对于父母来讲最好是永远的秘密,因为毕竟他们是传统的老人,我看我们就一起撒一个美丽的谎言,也保存你在他们心中的骄傲,让他们永远还是以你为荣.
最近爸妈都知道我们有邮件的往来,慢慢的我会自然的让他们知道你已经谈恋爱了,那个女孩挺不错,你们挺好,但你们对婚姻的看法和国内不同,你们会考虑晚一点结婚. 那样他们才会放弃给你介绍上海的那个女孩,省省事.
哦,听爸妈说你九月份要回来,到时我们好好聊聊.到时把你的朋友的照片带回来看看,看他帅不帅.忠心的希望你们幸福,快乐,美满.
L.N.
2004.7.9
Coming out to friends
I have two ex-classmates in Canada. Roger is in Toronto, and Don in London, Ontario.
In the winter of 2001/2002, Roger and Don visited my place and my BF, K, was there when they arrived. I introduced K as a regular friend. Since K went to the same university as three of us in the same year. They were not suprised.
Before Canada day of 2003, Roger and his wife invited me to join them camping in Algonquin. Although I wanted to go, but I could not leave K alone at home. After some inner struggling, I called Roger and told him "my lifestyle is different with the majority" and he cleverly caught my meaning right away. Fortunately, he and his wife took it very well. Since then, four of us hang around once a while and enjoyed each other's company.
Because of the two hour drive distance, I did not see Don very often, so I did not feel the necessity to come out to him. But it did not mean I had to hide. Everytime we had a get-together, I always brought K with me. I could imagine Don's confusion and suspicion, but interestingly, he never asked me or even Roger at least. On May 21, 2005, Roger, his wife, K and I went to Point Pelee in Windsor. On our way home on May 22 we visited Don. During the BBQ time, Roger and K nudged me to talk to Don, but I hesitated. The day after, feeling it is THE time, I wrote this email to him.
Two days later, I received his email:
In the winter of 2001/2002, Roger and Don visited my place and my BF, K, was there when they arrived. I introduced K as a regular friend. Since K went to the same university as three of us in the same year. They were not suprised.
Before Canada day of 2003, Roger and his wife invited me to join them camping in Algonquin. Although I wanted to go, but I could not leave K alone at home. After some inner struggling, I called Roger and told him "my lifestyle is different with the majority" and he cleverly caught my meaning right away. Fortunately, he and his wife took it very well. Since then, four of us hang around once a while and enjoyed each other's company.
Because of the two hour drive distance, I did not see Don very often, so I did not feel the necessity to come out to him. But it did not mean I had to hide. Everytime we had a get-together, I always brought K with me. I could imagine Don's confusion and suspicion, but interestingly, he never asked me or even Roger at least. On May 21, 2005, Roger, his wife, K and I went to Point Pelee in Windsor. On our way home on May 22 we visited Don. During the BBQ time, Roger and K nudged me to talk to Don, but I hesitated. The day after, feeling it is THE time, I wrote this email to him.
Hi, Don
We had a wonderful time yesterday: Yina was very hospitable; both your daughters were adorable, and the food was simply amazing. You have a happy family envied by all of us.
There is one thing I should have told you but I did not. Maybe you have had this confusion for a long time, or maybe you never wondered: what the heck is the relation between me and K?
Here is the answer: K is my same-sex common-law partner. Yes, we are a gay couple. We have been together for 4 years. Last year, we bought our house and a new car (the one you saw yesterday) together.
Having been living in Canada for years, you must have some basics about this hot topic in Canadian society. There is only one thing I should clarify: both of us were gay long before we came to Canada, so it is not like Canada changed our sexual orientation.
I apologize for not telling you this earlier (Roger and his wife knew about it two years ago). One reason of this delay was we did not see each other very often, but the major reason was I don't feel comfortable to tell a friend face-to-face or even over the telephone. My original plan was to let you and your wife figure it out by yourselves. But after yersterday's visit, I changed my mind. And that's why I am writing this email.
Anyway, thank you guys again for the great BBQ party!
J.
Two days later, I received his email:
Hi, J
It was a great pleasure having you. Yina and I had a very good time too as well as two little ones. And thank you for the gift card for Sarah.
J, thank you for your trust telling me this. Please don't worry about it. We like the diversity of Canada. Yina and I completely understand and respect the choice made by K and you, and sincerely wish you the best !
Don
Sunday, February 06, 2005
"真水无香"
品泉
茶者水之神，水者茶之体。非真水莫显其神，非精茶曷窥其体。山顶泉清而轻，山下泉清而重，石中泉清而甘，砂中泉清而冽，土中泉淡而白。流于黄石为佳，泻出青石无用。流动者愈于安静，负阴者胜于向阳。真源无味，真水无香。(张源 ◎《茶录》)
真水无香 潘向黎
在博物馆里，看见了一方清代的印，刻的是“真水无香”四个字。
我对文物、金石都全然无知，也不知道这是作者蔡仁的夫子自道，还是另有出处，可是无声地念着这四个字，就觉得像在月圆之夜步入空庭，清朗月光在刹那间照遍了全身，浸透了肺腑。一时间有莫名的感动，很想说出来，可不知道对谁说、从何说起。
读过多少名言、格言，都是有智慧的，可是有哪一句比“真水无香”更宁和、透彻、充满清气？那些名言、格言，往往是教人进取、催人奋斗的，是有目标要去争，而“真水无香”却是没有目标，也不争，只是一种境界：自然、平静、清澈、淡漠无痕、空阔无边。这才是大智慧啊。回来后把这几个字翻来覆去地念，越发觉得深不可测。
读一本随笔，里面提到日本古典名著《徒然草》，正听叶田谦好在里面说：追求金钱的人生是多么愚蠢，追求地位和名声同样不智，无意中发现这样的句子：“真人，无智，无德，无功，亦无名。这类真人的事迹，谁能知解，谁能传扬？此非隐德守愚，而是本已超乎贤愚得失之境。”原来我想找的，在《徒然草》里等着我呢，真人无所谓聪明，无所谓品德，无所谓建功立业，更无所谓声名远扬，难怪“名”字常和“虚”字相连，叫做了“虚名”，可是“祸”却是“实祸”。而那些超越了贤愚得失之境的真人，我们是无从得知、无从了解的。盛名、美名如同芳香，藉此我们才能了解一些古代的人中精华，但是那些真正大智大慧、超出尘俗的人，却如同纯净的水，是没有香气的，更不会远近飘扬。除非有福气接触到他们，否则我们永远不知道人可以做到那样的纯洁和一清至骨。可是那样的人，岂是我们可以得闻其名、得见其人的呢？我们可以仰慕、追随的，无非还是有香之物、有名之人罢了。如果我们拒绝，那我们就没有什么可以仰慕、追随的了，我们心里的一个地方，只能永远是空的。至于世上所有的建功立业，所有的功成名就，若不为财富、地位，总能说出一个“名”字——无非是想让自己成为有香气的水罢了。真水无香，我们一出发就走了反方向。可是我们不出发，也许本来就不是纯净的水，还不如求些香气，掩了浊气呢。要淡、要透彻，是要大本钱的，而且是与生俱来、不可强致的。想想真是让人悲哀。
真水无香，说到这儿，话是说透了，却也说到头了。既是高山仰止的意思，也是人至察、水至清的意思。
忽又觉得奇怪，我怎么会由“真水”想到“真人”的呢？细细再想，原来这不相关的两处里倒是藏着绝妙的一联——上联：“真水无香”，下联：“真人无名”。其间时间和空间都跨越了很远，真是遥遥相对，玄妙无限。
妙联天成，可是该用什么样的纸和墨来写才妥当，谁来写才能传出这几个字的神韵?若有了那么天衣无缝的一联，谁又配在自己的住处挂它呢？恐怕任谁也要从身上生生逼出伧俗来的。那样的话，岂不是风雅不得，反成祸害。有些话有些事，也许还是从来不知道的好。
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