In the winter of 2001/2002, Roger and Don visited my place and my BF, K, was there when they arrived. I introduced K as a regular friend. Since K went to the same university as three of us in the same year. They were not suprised.
Before Canada day of 2003, Roger and his wife invited me to join them camping in Algonquin. Although I wanted to go, but I could not leave K alone at home. After some inner struggling, I called Roger and told him "my lifestyle is different with the majority" and he cleverly caught my meaning right away. Fortunately, he and his wife took it very well. Since then, four of us hang around once a while and enjoyed each other's company.
Because of the two hour drive distance, I did not see Don very often, so I did not feel the necessity to come out to him. But it did not mean I had to hide. Everytime we had a get-together, I always brought K with me. I could imagine Don's confusion and suspicion, but interestingly, he never asked me or even Roger at least. On May 21, 2005, Roger, his wife, K and I went to Point Pelee in Windsor. On our way home on May 22 we visited Don. During the BBQ time, Roger and K nudged me to talk to Don, but I hesitated. The day after, feeling it is THE time, I wrote this email to him.
Hi, Don
We had a wonderful time yesterday: Yina was very hospitable; both your daughters were adorable, and the food was simply amazing. You have a happy family envied by all of us.
There is one thing I should have told you but I did not. Maybe you have had this confusion for a long time, or maybe you never wondered: what the heck is the relation between me and K?
Here is the answer: K is my same-sex common-law partner. Yes, we are a gay couple. We have been together for 4 years. Last year, we bought our house and a new car (the one you saw yesterday) together.
Having been living in Canada for years, you must have some basics about this hot topic in Canadian society. There is only one thing I should clarify: both of us were gay long before we came to Canada, so it is not like Canada changed our sexual orientation.
I apologize for not telling you this earlier (Roger and his wife knew about it two years ago). One reason of this delay was we did not see each other very often, but the major reason was I don't feel comfortable to tell a friend face-to-face or even over the telephone. My original plan was to let you and your wife figure it out by yourselves. But after yersterday's visit, I changed my mind. And that's why I am writing this email.
Anyway, thank you guys again for the great BBQ party!
J.
Two days later, I received his email:
Hi, J
It was a great pleasure having you. Yina and I had a very good time too as well as two little ones. And thank you for the gift card for Sarah.
J, thank you for your trust telling me this. Please don't worry about it. We like the diversity of Canada. Yina and I completely understand and respect the choice made by K and you, and sincerely wish you the best !
Don
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