狗年大吉！

狗年是我的本命年。
祝各位朋友新春快乐，狗年大吉！

Below is the Souvenir Sheet issued by Canada Post for Year of Dog (2006).

“耽美”漫画

所谓的“耽美”漫画，在我的印象里就是千篇一律的人物造型：修长而瘦削，所以我一直都是不感冒的。

上面两幅也一样，但是这个业余画家（我猜想科班出身的人是不屑画这个的）的功底显然比其他人略高一筹。虽然对飘飘的长发和酷酷的表情仍然不以为然，但是我不得不佩服细节的精美。特别是白纱下肌肤的质感，以及龙鳞文身在夕阳下迷人的反光。

Bring it on!

Among a medium-sized company A in Mississauga, a small one B in Markham and a tiny one C in Pickering, I finally decided to go to the tiny one.

A has a size most employees would feel comfortable with, but the facility looks old and dirty and the engineering manager has an attitude although my potential direct supervisor looks down-to-earth. Besides, the offer cannot even match what I got from my last employer. The worse thing is: the engineering manager tried to fool me about the hourly pay calculation, which was an insult to my intelligence. If I were really that stupid, they probably wouldn't hire me anyway.

B is much closer to my house and has a very tidy and spacious working space considering its size. The boss is nice and currently they have only one mechanical engineer below him (also a Chinese, by the way, his hair is a disaster and his image is embarrassing as a professional). The offer is fair and they agreed to give me 3 weeks vacation starting from the second year. But the problem is: the job is too familiar for me so there won't be much new stuff. The bright side is I would feel very comfortable in the new position, but the down side is: If I leave this company several years later, my resume won't have any fresh words.

C is the smallest company I've ever been to. The owner (also titled as engineering manager although currently there is only one person to manage) seems easy-going and open-minded. We had some good laughs at the interview and he said we could get along. I thought he was just trying to be polite, but after he increased his offer twice I realized he really liked me, for the reason I don't know. Most importantly, if I take this job, I would be responsible to all aspects of the projects, which is quite different from what I did before. As a conservative and slightly pessimistic person, I am always intimidated by big changes like this (I told them I like challenges, but it was 80% a lie), and it is no exception this time.

I do know this is a good opportunity for me to gain some new skills and K thinks I should at least try it. But still, the “coward” and the “lazy guy” inside me kept pulling me down.

Eventually, I said, "Whatever will be will be..." Even if I fail it, it won’t be the end of the world. Besides, they liked me, not otherwise.

So, bring it on!

Sleeping beauty...

BIG day, Election day

I voted for Liberal.

Of course, I do see the corruption and arrogance in this party. But Liberal went extra miles to push through the legalization of same-sex marriage, for that cause only, I think I owe them a vote. If you look around the world (especially south of the border), you will not take what we have won in Canada for granted, and will deeply appreciate Liberal's firm stand.

Besides, I know many religeous fundamentalists are switching to Conservative solely because they hate same-sex marriage. So, hopefully, my vote can neutralize those people's votes, just a little bit.

Good luck, Liberal!

I almost embarrassed myself, but it was worth it

Ennis opened the wardrobe and we saw the jacket and the shirt hung on back of the door. Ennis slowly buttoned the shirt. "Jack, I swear." he said, eyes full of tears. And above the shirt, there was that Brokeback mountain post card, slightly faded but still beautiful like a heaven. Right here, without any sign, credit list came out…

Suddenly, a tremendous sadness exploded in my heart and overwhelmed my chest. Tears started pouring out of my eyes so uncontrollably that I had to bent over to rest my head on my knees. But still, the heart-breaking feeling grew bigger and bigger and I was literally cry aloud rather than shedding tears silently. K and other two friends (a straight couple) had already been waiting in the aisle, but I just could not stop. I tried to muffle the weeping sound with my hands, but I guess people around me could still hear me.

About two or three minutes later, K approached and patted on my shoulder. Finally, I managed to suppress the cry and stand on my feet, but the tears were still flowing. Outside of the cinema, there was a big line waiting for the entrance. When I passed by them, I could feel people were looking at me because I was constantly wiping my watery eyes.

Yes, it sounds embarrassing but I don't feel that way. For such a love story, a give-it-all cry is a blessing.

Toronto Star的报道文章

前天，我把我的Email同时也发给了Toronto Star的记者PETER GORRIE。
昨天(1月20日)的Toronto Star在B4版刊登了他对此事的报道文章：

Different language, different message

Subtle attacks on gay marriage in Chinese, Korean
English section of pamphlet doesn't even raise issue

Jan. 20, 2006.
PETER GORRIE
STAFF REPORTER
______________________________________________________

Same-sex. Different message.

Basic politics? Or cheap politics?

In a written message to voters who read Chinese and Korean, the Conservative candidate in Willowdale riding subtly attacks same-sex marriage and the Liberals who support it.

The English-language section of the same campaign pamphlet, distributed by Jovan Boseovski, doesn't mention the issue.

"The Liberal party passed the same-sex marriage act so our next generation are exposed to this subject in school classrooms and through the media," the pamphlet tells Chinese Canadians, who make up nearly one-quarter of the North York riding's population.

In Chinese, the wording implies that the issue would infect the minds of young people.

It's also a reminder that Conservative Leader Stephen Harper has promised a free vote in the House of Commons on whether last year's legalization of gay and lesbian civil marriages should be overturned.

Last year, most Liberal MPs, as well as all but one New Democrat and every member of the Bloc Québécois voted in favour of legalizing same-sex marriage.

"I'm very angry," says J., 35, a gay resident of the riding. "They make a wrong assumption about the Chinese people, and they're trying to hide something.

"I don't like it."

"Most Chinese people (and even their parents) are not religious and they don't have that homophobic gene in their blood," Jian says in an email to Boseovski. "According to my experience, not a single Chinese friend to whom my partner and I came out has shied away from us."

Why the differing messages?

"We thought it would have a different impact" in the Asian communities, says local campaign manager J.T. Boseovski. "The Chinese community is generally more conservative on such matters.

"There are mixed feelings ... so we decided not to put it in English."

A spokesperson at Conservative party headquarters in Ottawa calls it "just basic politics."

"Every candidate should know, and wants to know, what his constituents support and will focus on those issues," says Scott Brownrigg. "Every candidate speaks to their constituents and tailors their message accordingly."

But Boseovski's Liberal opponent, incumbent Jim Peterson, says it's "cheap politics."

"I don't think people go for that. I think they expect me to say the same thing to everybody ... I believe that's important."

The NDP's Rochelle Carnegie says she can't afford translated messages.

If she could, she says they wouldn't vary.

"People are the same. If I'm talking about child care or same-sex marriage, it's the same message, whatever the community is."

ZT: 《断背山》影响时尚界

刚刚在金球奖大获全胜的李安的《断背山》，一部西部牛仔包装下的具有东方内敛情感的爱情电影，打动了无数观众，当然，也包括有无数同性恋设计师。

影片最后埃尼斯抚摩着杰克珍藏的带血的甲克，电影院里无数人泪如雨下，如果说，你也能拥有这样一件呢，是不是能抚慰你的心。

广告和时尚杂志里，同性恋形象通常是这样的：头发打蜡，穿高领套头毛衣，拥有化装品，贝克汉姆曾经就做过男性化装品广告，不是粗矿，也不是妖娆，不少人看来有些古怪。现在，《断背山》澄清了某些东西，如同报纸上所说的那样，它把同性情感带入美国电影主流。对时尚界来说，两个粗犷的男人，穿的非常主流。

今天发布的Valentino2006新款，超级男模WILL CHALKER和Tyson Ballou出来走秀 ，我们看到牛仔形象如此神采飞扬。

Conservatives, you are wrong about Chinese Canadians!

今天收到本选区保守党候选人的拉票传单。其中用了英文，中文，韩文三种文字。

奇怪的是，居然只有中文韩文部分有反对同性婚姻的言辞：“自由党通过同性婚姻法，致令我们的下一代无论在学校课堂或传媒上都沾染到有关课题”，而英语部分对此只字未提。

以下是我写给此候选人的电子邮件：

Dear Mr. Jovan Boseovski,

I am a Chinese Canadian living in your riding. I just received your campaign pamphlet for federal election and have some questions to ask.

I noticed in this tri-lingual (English, Chinese, and Korean) pamphlet you expressed your opposition to same-sex marriage ONLY in the Chinese and Korean portion. Why? Is it because that in your opinion there are fewer gays among Chinese people and/or most Chinese Canadians are homophobia?

If you really think so, you are wrong. The percentage of homosexuals among population has nothing to do with race or ethnic. I happen to know there is a big gay Chinese community in Toronto and they are from every neighbourhood of GTA, including our riding.

As to the opinions of Chinese Canadians toward gay marriage, maybe you have heard some complaints from a few religious people, but please don't forget the existence of the silent majority. The truth is, most Chinese people (and even their parents) are not religious and they don't have that homophobic gene in their blood. More importantly, Chinese culture has the great tradition of tolerance and compromise, which taught us how to live with people who are different from us in harmony. According to my experience, not a single Chinese friend to whom my partner and I came out has shied away from us. I have enough reason to believe that most Chinese immigrants, by the time they received Canadian citizenship, have already built their principle of human rights, made their own observance to the gay issue, and eventually accepted the validity of gay relationships.

Maybe those Chinese Canadians are not as aggressive or talkative as those complainers, but they do have their stands. By making a wrong assumption about them, you will only end up to scare them away. You know, Chinese culture is always against intolerance, against those rigid inhumane "principles", which are the core of fundamentalism.

Good luck!

J.

"You asked for it, stupid!"

Last Tuesday morning, K had a minor car accident: a car behind him kissed his car's behind when K stopped for the red light. The driver was a white young man (let's call him S), who apologized and seemed very afraid that K would report it to the insurance company. As a compassionate person, K agreed to check the damage and probably settle it privately if there is no big cost. In the meantime, K got S's name, insurance policy number, driver's licence number and even address.

The next day, K went to a Toyota dealer and got estimation for the damage: two dimples on the rear bumper punched by the screws of S's license plate. The price? $650. Understandably, S thought it was too much when he heard this number. He then suggested we bring our car to another dealer where one of his friends was working. But the problem was: that dealer was far away and we did not want to waste our time and mileage to go there.

Guessing the damage was probably over-estimated, also in order to help this poor guy, we volunteered to get a second opinion from another dealership. On Thursday, I drove this car there and told the estimator my car was hit when parked in the parking lot, which meant I didn’t know who did it and I had to swallow the cost myself. This time, the estimation was much lower than last time: only $370.

To be honest, we didn’t think the dimples are a big deal, but we did want to get what we deserved. So, K called S again and told him he could either pay us $370 after we get the car fixed or pay us $300 upfront (which we might not use to fix the car). S said he was very busy and we could discuss it in the weekend.

Unfortunately, no call from S until Saturday evening. So I got a little bit confused here: he hit our car, and he begged us to settle it privately, and we spent extra time and gas to save money for HIM, and now we have to solicit him around? Hello! We are doing YOU a favour, remember?

But K called him anyway, more than once (I really admired his patience and mild temper), and eventually left him a message. Finally, S called back on Sunday saying he was still extremely busy and we could get the money on Monday. What? Is he thinking we are blackmailing him?

Still, no call until 10:00PM Monday evening. Suddenly, I became suspicious: what if this guy is playing game with us? What if there is a time limit before when we have to file our claim? With this fear in mind, I quickly went though the website of Insurance Bureau of Canada and found out that some policies require the clients to report accident within seven days. After realizing it was already seventh day, K phoned S. You guessed right, S was very busy the whole day and very tired. He was so tired that he refused to go downstairs even if we could go to his apartment building! He also sounded somehow upset about we pushed him so much.... Wait a minute: we are the beggars now?

Outraged by this guy's arrogance, I immediately urged K to call insurance right away (it was already 10:30PM). We would never ever talk to him again even if he offered us $2000 cash!

As everyone expected, things changed dramatically Tuesday morning. S called K five times and left several messages but K never answered him. Obviously, his insurance company was already bugging him. And suddenly, he had so much spare time to call us persistantly (maybe also desperately), but we are sorry, it was too late.

Let's count the final toll for him. The estimation provided by our insurance company’s designated garage is about $560, which almost doubles the money we asked. Considering the deductable, it is very likely that S has to pay it by himself. Besides, S’s insurance premium will go up considerably next year, which is even worse.

You asked for it, Stupid! (Yes, name S stands for "Stupid".)

Ziyi @ Golden Globe Award 2006

Best picture I took in 2005

Guys in beitong are sharing the best pictures they took in 2005.

Here is mine. It was taken in a small park in our neighborhood.

Sweet guy for queer eyes (01)

This hunk's name is RAFAEL VERGA. He is from Brazil, 1,85m, 77kg, born: 27/07/1981

Flawless!

只言片语话回国(3)

食为天

在加拿大生活了一段时间，再以一个局外人的眼光看中国，确实有些新发现。其中之一就是中国人在饮食方面的创造性。

我三次回国，每一次回去，我家所在城市流行的菜肴都不一样。记得2001年在某个馆子里吃了一道菜好像叫什么“香酥鸭头”。虽然没什么实质，但是味道非常特别，现在想起来我都有唾液分泌。2004年回去再想吃，弟弟告诉我早就不流行了，找不到了。更别提在我出国前流行的“酸菜鱼”什么的，现在估计只能在公路边的乡村饭馆里才能找到。

再好吃的东西，中国人吃不了两三年就腻了。所以餐馆业的老板们也从没打算创立个什么老字号。他们一般是：投一笔钱，搞一种菜式，两三年之后赚的差不多了，这种菜式也差不多该淘汰了。然后换一种，改个店名，装修一下，又是一个轮回。加拿大可就不一样了，牛排和BBQ吃了几代人，好像大家从来没有想过要换换口味，真是奇怪。

饮食的日新月异当然是好事，但食客的浪费确是丝毫不减当年。公款吃喝的挥霍就不用说了，即使是自己掏钱，如果人情世故场合，做东的也是极尽铺张只能事，其浪费也让我看得心疼。

ZT: 10 reasons Gay Marriage is wrong

1. Being gay is not natural. And as you know Americans have always rejected unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because, as you know, a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed. The sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

"For a lost soldier"

I read about this movie a year ago from internet: a friendship/love story between a Dutch boy and a Canadian solider by the end of WWII. Very unique and daring subject! So, when I found it in the DVD collection of my friends A & F, I immidiately borrowed it.

The first part of this movie is a little bit slow, but it is worth the time because it makes the audiance to understand the dutch boy's situation before the solider's appearance: His mother sent him to a farmer's home to avoid the food shortage in Amsterdam; He can barely fit into the new family although his step parents are good people; He is on the edge of sexual waking, and more confusingly and frustratingly, only to find he has an interest totally different with his buddies. In one word, despite so many step brothers/sisters and a friend (also from Amsterdam), he is all alone, INSIDE. And you can see his loneliness through his eyes.

Before seeing it, I thought the relationship between the boy and the solider is only spiritual, at most subconsciously physical/sexual. Or, the boy is seeking a protection from a father figure which he confuses with love, while the solider does not realize it at all. But the movie told me I was wrong: it is more straightfoward and daring than that. They do love each other sexually (as well as emotionally) and they do have sex (at least once in the movie)! Actually, this is what's so amazing about this movie: it handled this difficult subject with so "remarkable delicacy and considerable grace" that it doesn't feel lurid, at least to me.

Considering all the media fuss about child molestation and child pornography in Canada (not to mention U.S.), this movie is bound to raise a few eyebrows or even outrage many botton-down people. No matter you are gay or straight, the bottom line is that you can't help but ask yourself "if such relationships are intrinsically abusive or if they might, in extraordinary instances, have validity and even integrity" (GFT, Amazon Reviewer).

Of course, different people will answer that differently. But for me, since I myself have been under the same situation as the boy (except the good part: a sexy solider), my answer is: it is NOT abusive in any sense. I can still vividly recall my feeling when I was at grad 5 of elementary school, when all "good" students cross the grade were picked out to form a class to get some "special" last minute training. In this new class, there was a classmate, who not ony looked like a young man instead of a boy but also smiled like a big brother, always warming and intriguing to me. Someday, out of blue, I started feeling strangely excited, anxious and a little bit sweet when he was around. Day after day, it got worse and worse. And before I realized what it was, it had become a daily torture to me because I desperately hoped he would talk to me but I never dared to initiate a talk. For some days, I felt so happy simply because he smiled to me. And for some other days, I felt so low because I failed to catch his attention. Yes, I was 12 at that time, almost same age as the boy in the movie.

So, speaking for myself, if there were a soldier coming to me and gave me love when I was 12, I would never say I was taken advantage of (or abused). I would be grateful for my whole life.

For some children, they know exactly what they want.

Wow! 世界太小了！

两个月前参加了某个艾滋病防治组织的同志性生活网上调查。今天上午和他们的一位志愿工作者有个约会，作进一步的面谈。

十点钟，我们几乎同时到达。这是一位三十岁左右的亚裔女士，打扮得很得体。在按照调查表一项一项地问与答之间，我们也聊点各自的生活：原来她是香港移民，很小就来到加拿大，丈夫曾在某大学某系读博士……

嗯？……！！！我突然意识到，她的老公可能我认识！虽然由于种种原因，我和那一帮同学已经失去联系五六年了，但当她说出那个名字时，我还是立即想了起来。她又说了几个他丈夫的好朋友的名字，我全都认识！

Wow! 世界太小了！“Six Degrees of Separation！”她也感叹得不得了。

“You guys should get together sometime! ......Don't worry, they are all very open-mineded...” 她兴奋地说。

这……太突然了。说实话，我还真没过让那帮直人朋友重新回到我的生活圈子中来。按道理，我现在和父母都坦白了，不应该再有什么顾虑，但是，一想到要同时和那么多人出柜，我还是需要静下心来考虑考虑。

最后，我们决定暂时不告诉他老公，等我和BF商量之后再作决定。本来她要给电话号码，但是，万一是她老公接电话怎么办？所以只能她联系我了。

临别，她开玩笑说：“I feel like we are having an affair...”

Rare thing: Asian male nude model

I found this on the homepage a photographer's website.

He is definitely an Asian guy. I'm just wondering if he is Chinese.

This is a perfect body, although it might be too muscular to be my exact type.