ZT: 阆中：没有标本能比生命更美

在谈阆中之前，首先谈一谈多年前另一个旅游中的记忆。我十四岁的时候，第二次上峨嵋。在上山之前，去参观报国寺峨嵋野生动物博物馆。实际上这是一个规模不大的动物标本陈列室，但橱窗里挤下了几乎峨嵋所有的知名野生动物，标本制作水平不错，对于一个半大孩子来说，足够产生巨大的吸引力。隔着玻璃，我能感到它们正在呼吸，在黑熊面前，甚至不敢靠近。接下来，我怀揣着对眼见的标本的真实感上了山，见到了成群的猴子在林间跳跃呼鸣，也见到了活生生的猴子从我手心上取走饼干，然后因为不满意而冲人呲牙示威。于是在十四岁的年龄，我明白了很重要的一件事——标本永远无法向你展示一种生命，无论它做得多么精细逼真。

　　我们在城市里生活久了，一天天看着现代化向我们汹涌而来，难免会产生一种怀旧，怀念被现代化吓跑的传统和生活。这种思潮让我们有足够的理由将追寻古城变成一种时尚，以缓解我们因日益远离传统而惶恐的心灵。但是，古城在哪里？

　　中国有四大古城——丽江、平遥、阆中、歙县。从平时的零星信息中，我的个人判断是——在这四座古城中，阆中的旅游知名度是最小的。这个信息有两点含义——第一，阆中是最不具有旅游价值的；第二，阆中是最具有旅游价值的。前一点是送给以游览古城为时尚需要的人，后一点是送给以追寻传统为心灵需要的人。


有居民的古城，是会呼吸的古城

　　旅游业总是一柄双刃剑，在发展的同时也在消亡。我们旅游的概况是，因为想逃离自己熟悉的生活而来到另外的地方，然后用自己的到来把这个地方变成自己熟悉的生活。庄子曾提到过路边的巨树的哲理，树因为无材可用而贻享天年，而对于文化而言，旅游业犹如那柄如饥似渴寻找上等木材的贪婪的斧子。阆中，长在孕育了无数重镇的嘉陵江边，长在美景密布的四川东北，无数人来人往，但却没有斧子砍向这棵文化上和建筑学术上的大树，因为从快餐式的现代旅游观看来，这是一棵无材之木。

　　我在阆中古城的一家老庭院中安静地住了一周，只去了锦屏山和滕王阁，甚至连新城都没怎么去。这基本上不是旅游的节奏，而是生活的节奏。所以在我的眼中，阆中的美就像每天清晨慢慢投下的晨曦一样无可阻挡地沁润而来。我和大部分古城追寻者一样，因为在自己熟悉的城市里疲倦而产生逃离的欲望。但是我和大部分人不同的是我有足够的时间用来逃离，不需要考虑什么时候该启程重新回到办公室的电脑前。因此，虽然一周时间在这个两千多年的小城里是一个浮尘一样的时间，但我仍可以试图以一个本地人的心态去感受这座古城。


阆中的街道上，行走的不是满街的游客，真令人亲切！

　　阆中最大的魅力在于她是活的，经历了两千多年的风霜，而真真切切地活着的。在这里，你看到的是真正的阆中人平静地过着真正阆中的生活，不是文化表演，不是商业作秀，只是传统的生活本身。午后太阳懒懒照在古街上，老人安详地坐在木板门面前的阳光中，你从他们的闲谈中走过，身上没有旅行大背包，而是拎着一袋刚从市场上买来的臊子凉面。你就会忘却自己远来的路途，融身其中。你抬头看到街角微风中的苍老屋檐投下阴凉的影子，仿佛又回到童年时老街门前的下午。所有这些都是真实而且活着的，因为它是如此能够叠合怀念的欲望。这里的旅游者是绝对的少数，背包和相机很少，也见不到那么多如饥似渴的眼光。因此，阆中是阆中人的阆中，但是丽江却未必敢说是丽江人的丽江。丽江已经成为了国际古城了，各种肤色和文化的交融场所；而阆中依然是中国川北丘陵里燕人张飞镇守至终身的那个阆中。

　　我们所见到的古城大多被商业和旅游淘空了五脏六腑，只剩下一幅皮毛，被稻草和铁丝支撑着，保持着生前的姿态和形状。仿佛报国寺博物馆橱窗里的那些东西。丽江虽然还努力延续着纳西文化，并且鼓励纳西族人回归到古城里，但她显赫的国际名声以及开发得无与伦比的商业已经将她变成一个文化购物天堂；松潘为了游客驱逐干净了古城里的全部原驻民，灌以生硬的商业稻草，一到晚上，街道上四处关门闭户，因为这里已经没有住户而只有商店；而周庄和黄龙溪更是在多年前就以她们那排山倒海般的旅游商业，把一座江南水乡和一座川西小镇制作成了一件文物标本。而阆中，依然活着，充满了生命之美。


阆中的每一段古城墙后面都住着人家

　　著名的平遥城墙垮塌事件将这另一座著名古城置于一场文化的开发和保护的争论反思的浪尖上。其焦点之一是平遥古城门票年收入超过四千万，但相关部门却称维护资金紧缺是造成垮塌的重要原因。走在阆中的街上，我知道这样的事不会发生在这里，因为这里的每一段古墙后面都住着人家，古墙是活着的，她因为成为人们生活的一部分而存活。就好像家里有一个青花古瓷碗，价值不菲，珍藏高阁。但是那个檀木匣子里的瓷器到底是否出现了裂缝，你并不知道，因为你可能遇上分家或是交待后事的时候，才有机会拿出来端详，说不定打开一看是一堆碎瓷片；而厨房碗柜里的粗瓷饭碗，一旦有个小缺口你就能马上知道，因为每天都要摸它看它，它和实实在在的生活嵌在一起，虽然没有那么尊贵，但是却能得到该有的关注。只有标本才会因为管理不善而生虫腐烂，活着的生命不会。野生动物和文化都是这样。平遥的垮塌正是在于她有门票，一张门票，就注定了她的身份是供人参观的标本，而不是供人生活的家园。失去生命的躯体总是脆弱的。当我们把文化逼得无处安身的时候，它就会连承载它的躯壳一同带走。被恶性旅游商业蛀空的古城们的躯体里已经没有文化的寓所，那么最终吸引旅游者到来的那个原因也会黯然消失。

　　真好，阆中还活着，她没有门票，她因为她不完善的旅游开发而幸存，而美丽。没有哪件标本能比生命本身更美。

（文/ 生活者） 文章来自: 星岛环球网

秀色可餐 (02)

ZT: 移民申请离奇案 电话同性爱申请团聚

加国无忧 2006年07月09日，来源：环球华报

一名加拿大女子最近向加拿大移民及难民局移民上诉，坚决要求当局為她在香港的同性伴侣办理亲属团聚移民。这名女子说，她和那位同性伴侣一直通过长途电话做 爱，有一次更长达6个小时，因此已有超过一年的亲密关係，符合移民法的要求。不过，移民上诉部门拒绝了这个上诉申请。

据国家邮报报道，该 案件中的上诉人是Erlinda Arellano Ursua，而申请前来团聚的则是Versalina Ollero Valmonte。两人其实早在1982年圣诞夜的舞会中撞见，Ursua表示与Valmonte一见钟情，并尝试用电话攻势，希望两人可以发展成為“好 朋友”。

后来，Ursua於1987年以家务助理的类别下，取得加拿大移民身分，这时，孤单的情绪，令她与香港前来的另一名女子 Minerva Maconas，瞬间坠入情网，更谱出一段长达10年的同性恋关係，直到2000年4月。正因如此，Ursua那时并未想到要申请Valmonte到加拿 大团聚。Ursua虽然在加国有亲密女友，但她仍然经常与Valmonte保持电话联络，隻不过，从1985年一直到1998年这段期间，两人隻在 1988年见过一次面，接下来的见面即是经过14年之后，两人结伴去度假时，那时已经是2002年的10月底。

移民及难民局的审裁员认 為，移民法中同居配偶的定义為两人实际发生肉体关係，如果要申请海外的同居配偶移民，则必须至少有1年的亲密关係，而靠“电话性爱”(phone sex)维持性爱关係，不足够符合有关规定。审裁员博伊尔在判决中说，“我不相信如此‘远程’(long-range)的亲密关係，足够构成移民法中所说 的同居配偶关係(conjugal relationship)”。

博伊尔接著说，移民法中所说的同居配偶关係指的是两个人实际发生的肉体关係，依他所见，移民法并未预期会有人想到用电话性爱等行為，作為眞实同居配偶关係的证据，因此移民法并未清楚作出规范，但他也无法接受上诉人加上电话性爱时期去达致法定要求1年的同居配偶关係的说法。

Thinking str8 is not enough...

Below is from "Savage love".

Last weekend I was stuck in a hotel room in Portland, Oregon, on account of a teensy-weensy hangover, and I caught a marathon of the MTV dating show. Here's how the show works: One person – say, a boy – goes on a blind date with a girl. If the boy doesn't like the girl, he says "Next!" and one of four other girls, all waiting on a bus, takes the first girl's place. The rejected girl returns to the bus to be cruelly mocked by her rivals. The boy continues barking "Next!" until he finds a girl he likes. Sometimes there are five boys on the bus and a girl barks "Next!"; and every once in a while five gay boys are on the bus and another gay boy barks "Next!"

While the gay episodes demonstrate to MTV's impressionable viewers that young gay people are really no different – they're every bit as shallow, vapid and crude as their straight counterparts – not one of the gay episodes really worked. Instead of anxiously waiting to see which of the five will be chosen, viewers of the gay instalments of Next anxiously wait for the five boys on the bus to strip down and get it on. The gay boys on the Next bus aren't rivals, MTV, they're all potential matches, which makes the one guy who isn't on the bus nearly irrelevant. In all three of the gay episodes I saw, the boys on the bus were more into each other then they were into the boy for whose affections they were supposedly competing; in gay Next the boy who "won" a second date with the boy-who-wasn't-on-the-bus declined, preferring to run off with one of the other guys on the bus.

Recreating the "five bitchy rivals" dynamic that makes the hetero episodes of Next so entertaining wouldn't be that hard, MTV. Here's all you need to do: Put five hairy bears on the bus who are only attracted to pretty twinks and let them compete for the, er, hand of one pretty twink. Or five white guys that are only into Asian guys competing for an Asian guy. Or five tops and one bottom. Or five Log Cabin Republicans and one CPA. Take a little more care with the casting and pre-interviews, MTV, and you'll be able to solve Next's gay problem. You're welcome.

我曾经给一个好友说过：同志圈的有一个独特现象是：“情敌”可以转化为“情人”，这是传统的男女关系中绝对不可想象的。Dan Savage的这个故事算是一个例证吧。

She is so sexy!

Chinese president's photo is WRONG!

I scanned this from the new issue of MacLean's. Found anything wrong?

You got it: The text is about HU, but the photo is Lien.

Below is my letter to the editor:

"Deat Editor,

When I read the new issue (April 24, 06) of Maclean's, I found there was a wrong photo.

This photo is at the top right corner of page 13, beside the title "THE WEEK AHEAD...HU'S in WASHINGTON", so I suppose the photo is to show Chinese president Hu Jintao and his wife. But, unfortunately, what is really there are Lien Chan, former chairman of the Chinese Kuomintang(KMT) party, and his wife. This photo was very likely taken during the couple's recent high profile visit to mainland of China.

Considering the huge Chinese Canadian population in Canada, especially in big cities like Toronto and Vancouver. A mistake like this is really disappointing and embarassing. I only knew that some people who never saw foreigners before had diffuclty to tell individuals of other races, but it seems that professional journalists are no better than them, even in such a multicultural country.

J

North York , Ontario"

Is "Brokeback Mountain" funny?

Today, first I read this from Yifan BBS:

直人看断臂山--我们这儿今儿放断臂山。看的男女人数差不多，都是学校的学生。我以前在电影院看过，在网上当过，今儿是想重温一下大屏幕的感受。可是自开始，怪音，大声的评论不断，大声诡异的笑更是几乎每分钟都有。很多感人的，或揪心的场面观众一概报以发自内心的怪笑。我看到一半，实在忍不住，就走了。心情变得很糟。......

A while later, I read this from Savage Love

I know this is a little late, but I want to complain about watching Brokeback Mountain in a theatre full of gay people.

My wife and I went to a screening in L.A. The place was packed. Not surprisingly, the vast majority of other people there were gay men. They laughed through the whole movie! The more poignant parts brought the house down. Especially the scene where Jack and Ennis first reunite and are caught kissing by Michelle Williams. The whole theater just thought that was fucking hilarious. They couldn't stop laughing as Ennis rushed around gathering up clothes and his wife choked back tears.

As you know, the movie is about two repressed homosexuals. Every time one of the actors allowed that tension to show on his face, the queers in the audience found it hysterical. My hypothesis is that these incidents remind gay people of their own coming-out process, and therefore struck them as ridiculous since they themselves had gotten over those hang-ups long ago. Nevertheless, they seemed to display a real lack of empathy.

Or maybe it was nervous laughter; the effect of the movie was more pronounced on the gay audience members than it likely was on me.

Anonymous Straight Into Film

What's wrong with those people? I guess they were just a bunch of lame guys (str8 or gay) who were so afraid of showing their emotion that they could only fake some laughters to conceal it.

Before I came to Canada, I always thought people in North America respect individualities and promote being true to oneself. That assumption has changed long time ago after I saw so many young people comply to the peer pressure. When you are sitting in a subway car, almost every youngster has an iPOD. iPOD used to be a symbol of coolness, now it looks so lame to me.

Brave little thing

I found this set of photos on Pbase. Following are the words of the photograher Christina Craft: "I was in the park and this squirrel came up to me. I bent down to see how close he would come and the little thing put his tiny little hands right on my camera lens and took a peek. It was a very funny moment."





Here are the comments from the visitors:

* That is just too wonderful! I have to try that. Those little guys love me for some unknown reason. They follow me, jump onto my shoulders when I'm sitting and generally seem to acknowledge my presence. That being so, I have never done anything, even close to as constructive as this, with 'my gift'.

* lol, looks like he's adjusting the camera for a self-portrait.
Great pics, I like the shots kept together too.

* i love this picture! the squirrel has so much character!

我写的“长城平台”支持信

To know the whole story, please visit here

如果您也支持，请去下列政府网站在线发表意见。

下面是支持信的全文：

I support the proposed addition of nine non-Canadian Chinese-language services for the following reasons:

1. A FREE COUNTRY DOES NOT NEED CENSORSHIP.

Media censorship is what a Communist government does. I never thought Canada, a country with freedom, would even discuss this topic. It is surprising how easily a free country would drop its principle of freedom when it comes to letting a truly different voice in. It seems to me that democracy and capitalism has little self-confidence when there is a tiny face-off against autocracy and communism.

2. CANADIANS HAVE RIGHT TO CHOOSE WHAT THEY WATCH.

Maybe the elites don’t think Canadians are capable of making their own judgement about the materials and opinions broadcasted on television. But I beg to differ. It is a good thing that Canadians are not afraid of different voices and always want to hear the other side of stories, but it does not mean we are lack of judgement. The ironic truth is, when a democratic government tries to screen “non-democratic” information from its people, it always ends up to compromise freedom and democracy itself. After all, Canadian people have right to choose what they want to watch even if some insecure people don’t like it.

3. ALLEGATIONS OF HATRED AND GENOCIDE ADVOCACY ARE RIDICULOUS.

I had been living in China for many years before I came to Canada, so I almost laughed out aloud when I read those allegations that Canadians Against Propaganda put against Chinese television stations. I bet they made those assumptions about Chinese media just like some Chinese believe white people watch pornographic channels all night long. Chinese media "propagate communist ideology, attack democracy and incite hatred against minority groups"? Come on, are those accusers still living in cold war times! “Advocacy of genocide”? Wow, they enjoy demonizing China even more now, maybe because they cannot stand the rising of China in the past 20 years. I strongly demand Canadians Against Propaganda to show solid evidence to their allegations!

4. CHINESE GOVERNMENT DO NOT WANT TO SHOW ITS BAD SIDE TO THE WORLD. SO, DON’T WORRY.

Even if Chinese government really do some bad things such as the controversial treatment to Falun Gong practitioners, the last thing they would do is to broadcast those things to western countries like Canada. Chinese government is not stupid. If they want to attract foreign investors and tourists, they do know how to show their good side to the world. In one word, the reasoning of Canadians Against Propaganda is either too naive or completely irresponsible. The fact is, today’s Chinese television is so focused on entertainment and business that it has much fewer political programs than CBC.

5. THOSE CHINESE CHANNELS ARE NOT CAPABLE OF DOING ANY SORT OF PROPAGANDA.

Some people are worried about so called “communism propaganda”. Please! First of all, most of those “nine non-Canadian Chinese-language services” are in CHINESE, which more than 95% of Canadians don’t even understand. Secondly, I am sure 90% of the viewers will be new immigrants from China. If they were so vulnerable to the communism propaganda, they would have been brainwashed long time ago already when they were living in China! Lastly, those nine services will be paid channels, which means they are not even available to regular TV subscribers, not to mention general public. If a paid channel can be called propaganda, we should worry about the propaganda of immoral sex in those adult channels first.

6. TAKE IT EASY, IT IS JUST BUSINESS AND ENTERTAMENT.

There are so many good things those nine Chinese channels can bring to Canada. First of all, it opens a window for Canadian businessmen who want to find opportunities in China’s economic booming, for Canadian tourists who want to see China, and for regular Canadians who want to learn Chinese language and culture. Secondly, it provides information much needed by Chinese-Canadian community to keep them connected with where they were born. Most importantly, this is a time for cultural openness and dialogue, not segregation. The odds are, refusing to let in an unfamiliar thing will only make us miss out the opportunities that we don’t see in the beginning.

7. SKY DOES NOT FALL IN U.S., CHICKEN LITTLE!

As we know, those nine Chinese channels have been aired in U.S. for a couple of years. Surprisingly, there is no evidence showing American people are leaning left politically or getting cozy with dictatorship. Canadians are well-known for our open-mindedness, so why do we have to wait any longer for such a wonderful service that can only do benefit to Chinese and non-Chinese Canadians?

***End of document***

Movie: Happy Endings

K and I rented this DVD last Sunday because all other main stream good movies were gone. Suprisingly, it turned out to be a great film.

"Bizarrely funny and emotionally poignant", said Candace Moore on AferElton.com.

Produced by LGF(Lion Gate Films), which also made this year's Oscar best picture "Crash", "Happy Endings" has similar multiple story structure as "Crash". Those individual stories and characters seemed parallel at the beginning but eventually interwinded into each other. After many tears, fights, and smiles involving trust, betrayal, love, and blackmail, it finished with happy endings as promised at the beginning.

It is a comedy that makes you think and a drama that makes you smile, with six gay/lesbian characters and equal amount of straight ones.

By the way, there are two sweet guys in this movie:

Jason Ritter:


David Sutcliffe:


He was born June 8, 1969 in Saskatoon but he was raised in Grimsby and St. Catharines, Ontario. He began acting while attending the University of Toronto when a lower back injury forced him to quit the basketball team.

Obviously, he played another gay character in the movie "Testosterone".


When we watched the bonus features of the DVD, we found that even the director Don Roos is kind of cute.

Brokeback Mountain on Ice!

Hot!

(Courtesy of golden7 from ttconline.org)

谈一谈Sitcom吧

(This is a post I put on Beitong today of last year.)

在国内时，我只知道情景喜剧(Sitcom)是美国流行的一种电视节目形式。北京演艺界的英达等人也搞了几部像<我爱我家>和<候车大厅>之类的片子。虽然小有影响，但是改不了中国电视以长篇连续剧为主的格局。

六年前来到加拿大，才见识了Sitcom的流行程度。各种Sitcom挤满了各个电视台的黄金时段(Prime time)，长篇室内剧(Soap opera)只能偏居白天时段，供无聊的家庭主妇打发时间。

总结一下这几年看的Sitcom，个人的最爱是Fraser和Everybody loves Raymond。其原因是：这两部戏的每一集都有一个完整有趣的故事，笑料有机地结合在剧情中。Seinfield口碑不错，但我一直没正经看过，所以没发言权。

Friends和Will&Grace在前几季的故事还不错，但后来就每况愈下，为搞笑而搞笑，剧情苍白牵强，明显感觉编剧们江郎才尽，硬着头皮苦撑。至于最近刚从Friends衍生出来的Joey，更是从第一集就没话找话，好不尴尬。其他如Suddenly Susan, News Radio, Just shoot me, The 3rd rock from the Sun，则是笑过即忘。

值得一提的是一部英国的片子Keep up the appearence，写的是一个自私市侩但又自视颇高的女人闹的笑话，每一集都让人捧腹不已。对了，还有几十年前的经典Golden girls，写四个老太太的事，经常让人既开心又感慨。

不过自从Survivor，Apprentice等Reality show大获成功之后，Sitcom就开始慢慢有退出历史舞台的趋势了。个人觉得Reality show的模式单一，似乎很容易让观众厌烦。所以Sitcom也许在两三年后有东山再起的一天。

PS: 尽管很爱看SITCOM，但对很多喜剧电影，我却很难产生共鸣。

比如本地人很喜欢的Jim Carry, Adam Sadler, Mike Myers, 他们的大部分电影我都笑得很勉强。最近被影评人称为guilty pleasure的Dodge Ball, 我看了只觉得自己也变得很弱智。

最惨的是看Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle，好几个情节我都不明白笑料在哪里(比如Jamie Kennedy凑到Kal Penn跟前小便这一出)。也许这是拍给白人小年青看的，离我这个三十好几的中国移民的生活太远了。

Sweet guy for queer eyes (02)

This is a funny, shy and cute Asian boy from Signal Hill, US.

Simply adorable!

秀色可餐 (01)

(ZT)勇敢的母亲，出镜支持同性恋儿子

同性恋是一个存在争议的话题，不管大家理不理解，支不支持，他们都是真实地存在着，根据权威的数据，目前，在中国，已经有近3000万同性恋者。

就在社会对同性恋还在争论中的时候，一对母子，带着平静的微笑，走进了我们《今日一线》的办公室。今天，是一个历史性的时刻，大家看到的，是国内首位公开向公众亮相的同性恋者的母亲，这位勇敢的母亲，用这种形式来
表示对儿子的理解和支持。

郑远涛 25岁 翻译 广州在电视媒体公开同性恋身份第一人

吴幼坚 文学编辑 郑远涛 的母亲

作为广州第一个公开的同性恋者，郑远涛曾多次在媒体公开亮相。而这一次，他的母亲——吴幼坚，一位文学编辑，则是在经过深思熟虑之后，愿意用公开露面的方式，来支持自己的儿子。这也是国内第一位通过公众媒体亮相的
同性恋者的母亲。

1980年，郑远涛出生在广州一个普通的知识分子家庭，慈爱的父母，宽松的家庭氛围让小远涛健康地成长着。中学时候的他活泼，好学，成绩优异，和其他男孩没有任何的不同。

然而，进入青春期远涛，却渐渐发现了自己秘密——他首先爱上的，竟然是一个男生。当郑远涛鼓起勇气跟男生告白的时候，那个男同学却因为对同性恋的恐惧而远离了他。这次失败的经历，让远涛备受折磨，但他并没有强迫自己去喜欢女孩子。

从初中开始，远涛就很想把自己的这个秘密告诉最信任的妈妈，但他思前想后，还是怕妈妈接受不了。于是，他开始有意地给妈妈，做一些铺垫工作。远涛给妈妈看了方刚、李银河的书，还有一些影视作品，让妈妈也渐渐了解了。这样过了几年，到他读高三，一次与母亲的谈心时，远涛终于说出了自己的秘密。

吴幼坚当时听了，也没有觉得什么。但随后，她马上又有了自己的担心。吴幼坚说，她担心的是远涛找不到好的爱人，因为这个群体毕竟人数很少。为了让父母放心，远涛后来把自己的每一段感情历程都向他们交了底。

1999年，远涛以优异的成绩考上了广外，在大学期间，他再次寻找同性之间的感情。

然而，不是所有的父母都能接受这些，因为对方父母的压力，远涛的爱情一度无疾而终。但是有了父母的理解，远涛觉得少了很多压力。他希望，通过自己的努力，来消除公众对同性恋群体的歧视和误解。

2004年，远涛做出了人生的重大决定，为了推动同性恋的维权进程，在一次访谈节目当中，他向社会公开了自己的同性恋身份。而早在2001年，他就开始担任同性恋网站——爱白网的义务编译工作。

现在，只要出席公开场合，远涛都勇敢地带上了象征着“同志”身份的彩色旗。通过网络，远涛也再次找到了自己的真爱，而这一次，他更加坦荡地拥抱爱情。远涛开始敢与自己喜欢的人手牵手上街，更不怕别人的笑话。母亲也敢于向身边的人坦白儿子是同性恋的。现在，远涛有了新的计划，就是在明年到北京发展事业，并和他自己的爱人一起生活。而母亲也表示支持，母亲更希望的是，中国的同性恋有可能像异性恋一样，想爱就爱，也可以长久地生活在一起。

专栏“写手”的“客观性”

下面是《大中报》第1070期（Feb.3,2006）“枫园感怀”专栏的一篇文章：

言行不一的我

● 方 晴

在一月二十三日的大选之前，我呼吁全体的华人选民参与投票。无论是投自由党、保守党、绿党或任何其它党，只要参与，不问立场与原因。

即使在我当年居住过的魁北克省，我也在电话上“规劝”朋友们在一月二十三日抽出时间去投票。

但在投票日那天，我却坐在电视机前，看着保守党获胜，自由党落败，新民主党大肆扩张和魁人党的“保持现状”。

我自己没去投票。

作为一名专栏“写手”，我不断撰文抨击自由党在人头税问题上的傲慢与盛气凌人，视华人社区选票为天经地义，纵使不道歉、不赔偿，也应享有我们的支持。我希望读者去投任何一党的票，就是别投给自由党。如果我自己身体力行，似乎有利用媒介，将自己的观点强加予读者之嫌疑。这不是一个公允、客观的“旁观者”所应予读者的印象。这也可解释为我未去投票的“借口”。

但我在一月二十三日却也曾试图去投票，而且是想投给自由党。我的一个朋友无法投票，她虽然痛恨自由党的许多丑行，但依然认为在三大政党中，自由党代表最实际、最中产阶级化和最适合社会进步的政党、经验和选择。为此，我答应将我的这一票帮她投给自由党，以免浪费了一份权力。可惜的是，我的选民登记表不在安省。选举法要求我必须在七百公里外的原登记地投票。我的这张选票最终还是浪费了。但所幸的是，我的朋友想支持的自由党候选人－Jim Peterson在她的选区当选了；我希望下台的自由党政府已成了在野的反对党，而我的“客观性”也维护了。

"言行不一”也有结局是皆大欢喜的时候。

此文作者，在自己“不断撰文抨击自由党”，并号召“读者去投任何一党的票，就是别投给自由党”之后，为了避“将观点强加予读者之嫌”，天真地认为：只要自己不投票，那么自己所写的那些文章就是“公允、客观的”了。

但事实是这样的吗？

首先，作为一个有选举权的加拿大公民，作者是这场选举的“局内人”，换句话说，选举的结果是与作者的利益息息相关的。在这种情况下，作者的言论不可能完全做到“公允”和“客观”。即使作者不去投票，也改变不了他作为“局内人”的身份。

其次，是否“公允”和“客观”，与最后是否参与投票没有任何关系。设想这样一个例子：某女士的儿子要和其他孩子竞争一个推荐名额，为此，她不遗余力地去游说各个评委。因为她自己不是评委，所以她并没有参加最后的推荐投票。但仅仅因为此女士没投票，我们就能说她的游说是“公允、客观的”吗？显然不能。

最后，作为一个加拿大公民，在报纸上宣扬自己的政治观念，来影响其他选民，即使这些观点不客观不公正，这么做没有任何不妥（但外国人这么做就是非法的了）。但可笑的是，作者自作多情的认为自己有“将观点强加予读者之嫌疑”，从而用不去投票的办法，企图把自己装扮成一个“旁观者”，这只能叫做掩耳盗铃。

所以，作者最后沾沾自喜地以为“结局皆大欢喜”，但在读者眼里，可能是遗笑大方了。

Perfect Valentine's gift

It is perfect ONLY if your lover is a computer nerd who happens to be hopelessly romantic too.

Serious about it? Then buy it here

He was so handsome back then

狗年大吉！

狗年是我的本命年。
祝各位朋友新春快乐，狗年大吉！

Below is the Souvenir Sheet issued by Canada Post for Year of Dog (2006).

“耽美”漫画

所谓的“耽美”漫画，在我的印象里就是千篇一律的人物造型：修长而瘦削，所以我一直都是不感冒的。

上面两幅也一样，但是这个业余画家（我猜想科班出身的人是不屑画这个的）的功底显然比其他人略高一筹。虽然对飘飘的长发和酷酷的表情仍然不以为然，但是我不得不佩服细节的精美。特别是白纱下肌肤的质感，以及龙鳞文身在夕阳下迷人的反光。

Bring it on!

Among a medium-sized company A in Mississauga, a small one B in Markham and a tiny one C in Pickering, I finally decided to go to the tiny one.

A has a size most employees would feel comfortable with, but the facility looks old and dirty and the engineering manager has an attitude although my potential direct supervisor looks down-to-earth. Besides, the offer cannot even match what I got from my last employer. The worse thing is: the engineering manager tried to fool me about the hourly pay calculation, which was an insult to my intelligence. If I were really that stupid, they probably wouldn't hire me anyway.

B is much closer to my house and has a very tidy and spacious working space considering its size. The boss is nice and currently they have only one mechanical engineer below him (also a Chinese, by the way, his hair is a disaster and his image is embarrassing as a professional). The offer is fair and they agreed to give me 3 weeks vacation starting from the second year. But the problem is: the job is too familiar for me so there won't be much new stuff. The bright side is I would feel very comfortable in the new position, but the down side is: If I leave this company several years later, my resume won't have any fresh words.

C is the smallest company I've ever been to. The owner (also titled as engineering manager although currently there is only one person to manage) seems easy-going and open-minded. We had some good laughs at the interview and he said we could get along. I thought he was just trying to be polite, but after he increased his offer twice I realized he really liked me, for the reason I don't know. Most importantly, if I take this job, I would be responsible to all aspects of the projects, which is quite different from what I did before. As a conservative and slightly pessimistic person, I am always intimidated by big changes like this (I told them I like challenges, but it was 80% a lie), and it is no exception this time.

I do know this is a good opportunity for me to gain some new skills and K thinks I should at least try it. But still, the “coward” and the “lazy guy” inside me kept pulling me down.

Eventually, I said, "Whatever will be will be..." Even if I fail it, it won’t be the end of the world. Besides, they liked me, not otherwise.

So, bring it on!

Sleeping beauty...

BIG day, Election day

I voted for Liberal.

Of course, I do see the corruption and arrogance in this party. But Liberal went extra miles to push through the legalization of same-sex marriage, for that cause only, I think I owe them a vote. If you look around the world (especially south of the border), you will not take what we have won in Canada for granted, and will deeply appreciate Liberal's firm stand.

Besides, I know many religeous fundamentalists are switching to Conservative solely because they hate same-sex marriage. So, hopefully, my vote can neutralize those people's votes, just a little bit.

Good luck, Liberal!

I almost embarrassed myself, but it was worth it

Ennis opened the wardrobe and we saw the jacket and the shirt hung on back of the door. Ennis slowly buttoned the shirt. "Jack, I swear." he said, eyes full of tears. And above the shirt, there was that Brokeback mountain post card, slightly faded but still beautiful like a heaven. Right here, without any sign, credit list came out…

Suddenly, a tremendous sadness exploded in my heart and overwhelmed my chest. Tears started pouring out of my eyes so uncontrollably that I had to bent over to rest my head on my knees. But still, the heart-breaking feeling grew bigger and bigger and I was literally cry aloud rather than shedding tears silently. K and other two friends (a straight couple) had already been waiting in the aisle, but I just could not stop. I tried to muffle the weeping sound with my hands, but I guess people around me could still hear me.

About two or three minutes later, K approached and patted on my shoulder. Finally, I managed to suppress the cry and stand on my feet, but the tears were still flowing. Outside of the cinema, there was a big line waiting for the entrance. When I passed by them, I could feel people were looking at me because I was constantly wiping my watery eyes.

Yes, it sounds embarrassing but I don't feel that way. For such a love story, a give-it-all cry is a blessing.

Toronto Star的报道文章

前天，我把我的Email同时也发给了Toronto Star的记者PETER GORRIE。
昨天(1月20日)的Toronto Star在B4版刊登了他对此事的报道文章：

Different language, different message

Subtle attacks on gay marriage in Chinese, Korean
English section of pamphlet doesn't even raise issue

Jan. 20, 2006.
PETER GORRIE
STAFF REPORTER
______________________________________________________

Same-sex. Different message.

Basic politics? Or cheap politics?

In a written message to voters who read Chinese and Korean, the Conservative candidate in Willowdale riding subtly attacks same-sex marriage and the Liberals who support it.

The English-language section of the same campaign pamphlet, distributed by Jovan Boseovski, doesn't mention the issue.

"The Liberal party passed the same-sex marriage act so our next generation are exposed to this subject in school classrooms and through the media," the pamphlet tells Chinese Canadians, who make up nearly one-quarter of the North York riding's population.

In Chinese, the wording implies that the issue would infect the minds of young people.

It's also a reminder that Conservative Leader Stephen Harper has promised a free vote in the House of Commons on whether last year's legalization of gay and lesbian civil marriages should be overturned.

Last year, most Liberal MPs, as well as all but one New Democrat and every member of the Bloc Québécois voted in favour of legalizing same-sex marriage.

"I'm very angry," says J., 35, a gay resident of the riding. "They make a wrong assumption about the Chinese people, and they're trying to hide something.

"I don't like it."

"Most Chinese people (and even their parents) are not religious and they don't have that homophobic gene in their blood," Jian says in an email to Boseovski. "According to my experience, not a single Chinese friend to whom my partner and I came out has shied away from us."

Why the differing messages?

"We thought it would have a different impact" in the Asian communities, says local campaign manager J.T. Boseovski. "The Chinese community is generally more conservative on such matters.

"There are mixed feelings ... so we decided not to put it in English."

A spokesperson at Conservative party headquarters in Ottawa calls it "just basic politics."

"Every candidate should know, and wants to know, what his constituents support and will focus on those issues," says Scott Brownrigg. "Every candidate speaks to their constituents and tailors their message accordingly."

But Boseovski's Liberal opponent, incumbent Jim Peterson, says it's "cheap politics."

"I don't think people go for that. I think they expect me to say the same thing to everybody ... I believe that's important."

The NDP's Rochelle Carnegie says she can't afford translated messages.

If she could, she says they wouldn't vary.

"People are the same. If I'm talking about child care or same-sex marriage, it's the same message, whatever the community is."

ZT: 《断背山》影响时尚界

刚刚在金球奖大获全胜的李安的《断背山》，一部西部牛仔包装下的具有东方内敛情感的爱情电影，打动了无数观众，当然，也包括有无数同性恋设计师。

影片最后埃尼斯抚摩着杰克珍藏的带血的甲克，电影院里无数人泪如雨下，如果说，你也能拥有这样一件呢，是不是能抚慰你的心。

广告和时尚杂志里，同性恋形象通常是这样的：头发打蜡，穿高领套头毛衣，拥有化装品，贝克汉姆曾经就做过男性化装品广告，不是粗矿，也不是妖娆，不少人看来有些古怪。现在，《断背山》澄清了某些东西，如同报纸上所说的那样，它把同性情感带入美国电影主流。对时尚界来说，两个粗犷的男人，穿的非常主流。

今天发布的Valentino2006新款，超级男模WILL CHALKER和Tyson Ballou出来走秀 ，我们看到牛仔形象如此神采飞扬。

Conservatives, you are wrong about Chinese Canadians!

今天收到本选区保守党候选人的拉票传单。其中用了英文，中文，韩文三种文字。

奇怪的是，居然只有中文韩文部分有反对同性婚姻的言辞：“自由党通过同性婚姻法，致令我们的下一代无论在学校课堂或传媒上都沾染到有关课题”，而英语部分对此只字未提。

以下是我写给此候选人的电子邮件：

Dear Mr. Jovan Boseovski,

I am a Chinese Canadian living in your riding. I just received your campaign pamphlet for federal election and have some questions to ask.

I noticed in this tri-lingual (English, Chinese, and Korean) pamphlet you expressed your opposition to same-sex marriage ONLY in the Chinese and Korean portion. Why? Is it because that in your opinion there are fewer gays among Chinese people and/or most Chinese Canadians are homophobia?

If you really think so, you are wrong. The percentage of homosexuals among population has nothing to do with race or ethnic. I happen to know there is a big gay Chinese community in Toronto and they are from every neighbourhood of GTA, including our riding.

As to the opinions of Chinese Canadians toward gay marriage, maybe you have heard some complaints from a few religious people, but please don't forget the existence of the silent majority. The truth is, most Chinese people (and even their parents) are not religious and they don't have that homophobic gene in their blood. More importantly, Chinese culture has the great tradition of tolerance and compromise, which taught us how to live with people who are different from us in harmony. According to my experience, not a single Chinese friend to whom my partner and I came out has shied away from us. I have enough reason to believe that most Chinese immigrants, by the time they received Canadian citizenship, have already built their principle of human rights, made their own observance to the gay issue, and eventually accepted the validity of gay relationships.

Maybe those Chinese Canadians are not as aggressive or talkative as those complainers, but they do have their stands. By making a wrong assumption about them, you will only end up to scare them away. You know, Chinese culture is always against intolerance, against those rigid inhumane "principles", which are the core of fundamentalism.

Good luck!

J.

"You asked for it, stupid!"

Last Tuesday morning, K had a minor car accident: a car behind him kissed his car's behind when K stopped for the red light. The driver was a white young man (let's call him S), who apologized and seemed very afraid that K would report it to the insurance company. As a compassionate person, K agreed to check the damage and probably settle it privately if there is no big cost. In the meantime, K got S's name, insurance policy number, driver's licence number and even address.

The next day, K went to a Toyota dealer and got estimation for the damage: two dimples on the rear bumper punched by the screws of S's license plate. The price? $650. Understandably, S thought it was too much when he heard this number. He then suggested we bring our car to another dealer where one of his friends was working. But the problem was: that dealer was far away and we did not want to waste our time and mileage to go there.

Guessing the damage was probably over-estimated, also in order to help this poor guy, we volunteered to get a second opinion from another dealership. On Thursday, I drove this car there and told the estimator my car was hit when parked in the parking lot, which meant I didn’t know who did it and I had to swallow the cost myself. This time, the estimation was much lower than last time: only $370.

To be honest, we didn’t think the dimples are a big deal, but we did want to get what we deserved. So, K called S again and told him he could either pay us $370 after we get the car fixed or pay us $300 upfront (which we might not use to fix the car). S said he was very busy and we could discuss it in the weekend.

Unfortunately, no call from S until Saturday evening. So I got a little bit confused here: he hit our car, and he begged us to settle it privately, and we spent extra time and gas to save money for HIM, and now we have to solicit him around? Hello! We are doing YOU a favour, remember?

But K called him anyway, more than once (I really admired his patience and mild temper), and eventually left him a message. Finally, S called back on Sunday saying he was still extremely busy and we could get the money on Monday. What? Is he thinking we are blackmailing him?

Still, no call until 10:00PM Monday evening. Suddenly, I became suspicious: what if this guy is playing game with us? What if there is a time limit before when we have to file our claim? With this fear in mind, I quickly went though the website of Insurance Bureau of Canada and found out that some policies require the clients to report accident within seven days. After realizing it was already seventh day, K phoned S. You guessed right, S was very busy the whole day and very tired. He was so tired that he refused to go downstairs even if we could go to his apartment building! He also sounded somehow upset about we pushed him so much.... Wait a minute: we are the beggars now?

Outraged by this guy's arrogance, I immediately urged K to call insurance right away (it was already 10:30PM). We would never ever talk to him again even if he offered us $2000 cash!

As everyone expected, things changed dramatically Tuesday morning. S called K five times and left several messages but K never answered him. Obviously, his insurance company was already bugging him. And suddenly, he had so much spare time to call us persistantly (maybe also desperately), but we are sorry, it was too late.

Let's count the final toll for him. The estimation provided by our insurance company’s designated garage is about $560, which almost doubles the money we asked. Considering the deductable, it is very likely that S has to pay it by himself. Besides, S’s insurance premium will go up considerably next year, which is even worse.

You asked for it, Stupid! (Yes, name S stands for "Stupid".)

Ziyi @ Golden Globe Award 2006

Best picture I took in 2005

Guys in beitong are sharing the best pictures they took in 2005.

Here is mine. It was taken in a small park in our neighborhood.

Sweet guy for queer eyes (01)

This hunk's name is RAFAEL VERGA. He is from Brazil, 1,85m, 77kg, born: 27/07/1981

Flawless!

只言片语话回国(3)

食为天

在加拿大生活了一段时间，再以一个局外人的眼光看中国，确实有些新发现。其中之一就是中国人在饮食方面的创造性。

我三次回国，每一次回去，我家所在城市流行的菜肴都不一样。记得2001年在某个馆子里吃了一道菜好像叫什么“香酥鸭头”。虽然没什么实质，但是味道非常特别，现在想起来我都有唾液分泌。2004年回去再想吃，弟弟告诉我早就不流行了，找不到了。更别提在我出国前流行的“酸菜鱼”什么的，现在估计只能在公路边的乡村饭馆里才能找到。

再好吃的东西，中国人吃不了两三年就腻了。所以餐馆业的老板们也从没打算创立个什么老字号。他们一般是：投一笔钱，搞一种菜式，两三年之后赚的差不多了，这种菜式也差不多该淘汰了。然后换一种，改个店名，装修一下，又是一个轮回。加拿大可就不一样了，牛排和BBQ吃了几代人，好像大家从来没有想过要换换口味，真是奇怪。

饮食的日新月异当然是好事，但食客的浪费确是丝毫不减当年。公款吃喝的挥霍就不用说了，即使是自己掏钱，如果人情世故场合，做东的也是极尽铺张只能事，其浪费也让我看得心疼。

ZT: 10 reasons Gay Marriage is wrong

1. Being gay is not natural. And as you know Americans have always rejected unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because, as you know, a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed. The sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

"For a lost soldier"

I read about this movie a year ago from internet: a friendship/love story between a Dutch boy and a Canadian solider by the end of WWII. Very unique and daring subject! So, when I found it in the DVD collection of my friends A & F, I immidiately borrowed it.

The first part of this movie is a little bit slow, but it is worth the time because it makes the audiance to understand the dutch boy's situation before the solider's appearance: His mother sent him to a farmer's home to avoid the food shortage in Amsterdam; He can barely fit into the new family although his step parents are good people; He is on the edge of sexual waking, and more confusingly and frustratingly, only to find he has an interest totally different with his buddies. In one word, despite so many step brothers/sisters and a friend (also from Amsterdam), he is all alone, INSIDE. And you can see his loneliness through his eyes.

Before seeing it, I thought the relationship between the boy and the solider is only spiritual, at most subconsciously physical/sexual. Or, the boy is seeking a protection from a father figure which he confuses with love, while the solider does not realize it at all. But the movie told me I was wrong: it is more straightfoward and daring than that. They do love each other sexually (as well as emotionally) and they do have sex (at least once in the movie)! Actually, this is what's so amazing about this movie: it handled this difficult subject with so "remarkable delicacy and considerable grace" that it doesn't feel lurid, at least to me.

Considering all the media fuss about child molestation and child pornography in Canada (not to mention U.S.), this movie is bound to raise a few eyebrows or even outrage many botton-down people. No matter you are gay or straight, the bottom line is that you can't help but ask yourself "if such relationships are intrinsically abusive or if they might, in extraordinary instances, have validity and even integrity" (GFT, Amazon Reviewer).

Of course, different people will answer that differently. But for me, since I myself have been under the same situation as the boy (except the good part: a sexy solider), my answer is: it is NOT abusive in any sense. I can still vividly recall my feeling when I was at grad 5 of elementary school, when all "good" students cross the grade were picked out to form a class to get some "special" last minute training. In this new class, there was a classmate, who not ony looked like a young man instead of a boy but also smiled like a big brother, always warming and intriguing to me. Someday, out of blue, I started feeling strangely excited, anxious and a little bit sweet when he was around. Day after day, it got worse and worse. And before I realized what it was, it had become a daily torture to me because I desperately hoped he would talk to me but I never dared to initiate a talk. For some days, I felt so happy simply because he smiled to me. And for some other days, I felt so low because I failed to catch his attention. Yes, I was 12 at that time, almost same age as the boy in the movie.

So, speaking for myself, if there were a soldier coming to me and gave me love when I was 12, I would never say I was taken advantage of (or abused). I would be grateful for my whole life.

For some children, they know exactly what they want.

Wow! 世界太小了！

两个月前参加了某个艾滋病防治组织的同志性生活网上调查。今天上午和他们的一位志愿工作者有个约会，作进一步的面谈。

十点钟，我们几乎同时到达。这是一位三十岁左右的亚裔女士，打扮得很得体。在按照调查表一项一项地问与答之间，我们也聊点各自的生活：原来她是香港移民，很小就来到加拿大，丈夫曾在某大学某系读博士……

嗯？……！！！我突然意识到，她的老公可能我认识！虽然由于种种原因，我和那一帮同学已经失去联系五六年了，但当她说出那个名字时，我还是立即想了起来。她又说了几个他丈夫的好朋友的名字，我全都认识！

Wow! 世界太小了！“Six Degrees of Separation！”她也感叹得不得了。

“You guys should get together sometime! ......Don't worry, they are all very open-mineded...” 她兴奋地说。

这……太突然了。说实话，我还真没过让那帮直人朋友重新回到我的生活圈子中来。按道理，我现在和父母都坦白了，不应该再有什么顾虑，但是，一想到要同时和那么多人出柜，我还是需要静下心来考虑考虑。

最后，我们决定暂时不告诉他老公，等我和BF商量之后再作决定。本来她要给电话号码，但是，万一是她老公接电话怎么办？所以只能她联系我了。

临别，她开玩笑说：“I feel like we are having an affair...”

Rare thing: Asian male nude model

I found this on the homepage a photographer's website.

He is definitely an Asian guy. I'm just wondering if he is Chinese.

This is a perfect body, although it might be too muscular to be my exact type.