同性恋 vs. 乱伦

This is an old post by me on Yifan BBS more than 3 years ago:

同性恋平反了，为什么不能给“乱伦”平反？ (Aug 1, 2002)

一直以来，我对同性恋和乱伦的道德界定很迷惑。乱伦和同性恋一样，都是传统道德中的禁忌。今天世界的主流社会大都在为同性恋平反，因为两个男子或两个女子相爱，并不妨碍他人，并不危害社会。

但同样，俩兄妹相爱，只要不生育，也不妨碍他人, 也不危害社会呀。为什么始终为社会所不容呢？

今天看到的SAVAGE LOVE一篇专栏问答，在此问题上对我颇有启发：

Q: Well, well, well. Dan Savage gets all squirmy and horrified about incest. You came down pretty hard on Please Help for having sex with his sister. But can you tell me why incest is any more horrifying than male homosexulality? At least incestuous intercourse follows the natural function of the sexual organs! You may reply that incest causes genetic problems. However, statistically, the danger of this is far less than that of contracting AIDS from gay intercourse. In the gays I have known, I have often sensed a deep personal dishonesty, and part of that may be the refusal to acknowledge that homosexuality is in fact abnormal.
- You're The Freak

A: Whenever the subject of incest comes up - incest being one of the very few things I strongly disapprove of - I get a lot of irate mail from incest fans. Curiously, all the incest fan mail I receive is from straight men. Many, like YTF here, would have us believe that their desires for their moms or sisters or grandmas are much, much healthier than my desire for, say, Ashton Kutcher. Since their incestuous desires involve "natural" penis-and-vagina intercourse and not "unnatural" my-penis-and-Ashton-Kutcher's-mouth intercourse, I'm the sicko.

I don't think so, YTF.

First off, YTF, pointing out that homosexuality isn't normal doesn't wound me. While homosexuality is a naturally occurring abnormality, I'll cheerfully admit that it is an abnormality. As for the relative dangers of gay and straight sex, an individual gay man's sex life is only as dangerous as he decides to make it - and, hello, I get hundreds of letters every day from straight people whose sex lives are infinitely more dangerous than mine. OK, on to incest....

Incest fans would have us believe that since gay people rejected the ancient the taboo against homosexuality, any gay person who supports the taboo against incest is a hypocrite. This stance presumes, however, that all taboos are created equal. Not so. There's an important distinction between homosexuality and incest, one that defensive incest fans can't seem to grasp. To wit: homosexuals are people and incest is an act. The taboo against gay sex was irrational because it denied gay people the right to any sexual expression or romantic attachments, and consequently the taboo against homosexuality was as unjust as it was unenforceable. The cultural taboo against incest, however, is not an attempt to deny a group of people any and all access to love and intimacy but an attempt to direct our sexual feelings toward healthier, more appropriate targets.

Three years later, there was another discussion on Rolia. Below is the orginal post from ekati (网友), whose opinion is definitely worth to read.

为什么说同性婚姻合法化和乱伦不可比 (May 27, 2005)

乱伦，一般是指血亲之间的性行为。从亲属关系看有几种情况，父女、母子、兄妹、姐弟等等。从性别上看有同性异性。从年龄上看有成年人之间的，和涉及未成年人的。

乱伦的问题在哪里？如果涉及未成年人或无行为能力人，不管是否双方自愿，都是不可以的，大家都明白为什么。我就不多说了。

如果不牵涉未成年人，成年人、有行为能力的两个人之间的性行为在西方社会一般是不受干预的。如果有问题，那就是疾病的传播和生育问题。性相关疾病传播在亲属间不比常人有什么不同。医学发达了，生育基本上可以做到避免有遗传缺陷的孩子出生。从这个层面上看，异性成年人的血亲性行为没有什么问题。成年同性的就更简单了。

心理学家对血亲性行为的研究，发现导致血亲性行为的原因通常是家庭的功能混乱，家庭里角色定位不清。当家庭成员有未满足的需要，受到外界的刺激，就会出现血亲性行为。血亲成年家庭成员之间的持续的性关系并不多见。

原因找到了，这种行为可以改变吗？答案是肯定的。疏导未满足的需求就可以改变这种行为模式。这点和同性恋不同，同性恋不是一种可以改变的行为模式。同性恋的成因我们可以另文讨论。

成年血亲家庭成员有结婚的需要吗？家庭成员之间的财产转移、继承是相对容易的，婚姻并不增加更多的权利。更重要的是，当促成血亲性关系的未满足的心理需要在家庭之外得到宣泄，成年家庭血亲家庭成员之间的性关系通常不能维持，家庭成员之间的关系一旦理顺，本身就不需要性的维持。

由此可见，血亲性关系和同性恋婚姻不是同一层面的问题。解决乱伦、血亲性关系的问题重点是在保护未成年人。成年人的乱伦问题可以通过心理咨询或环境改变来解决。婚姻并不解决乱伦问题。也不能满足乱伦家庭成员的需要。他们的关系也不需要法律来保护。

同性婚姻的问题是权利问题。同性恋者不结婚他们同样可以生活在一起，关键是没有了法律的保护。少了正常婚姻夫妇之间的和共有的权利。象财产继承权了，医疗决策权了，子女抚养权了，等等。子女抚养，大家不要担心，同性恋抚养的子女并一定是同性恋的，一定的是他们会更清楚同性恋的真正含义，这个心理学家、精神病学家都研究过。以后我们讨论同性恋成因时再谈这个问题。

最后声明，我不是专家，只是根据我自己的了解，在这个清闲的星期五下午把这个问题的看法写一写，抛砖引玉，请大家指正。

And followed by my post:

同性恋与乱伦的本质区别 (May 27, 2005)

最近网上关于同性恋的争论很多，有一网友把同性恋与乱伦作类比，认为既然同性恋可以合法，乱伦和同性恋一样，如果是两厢情愿，于他人无妨，也应该合法化。

其实，同性恋与乱伦相比，有本质的不同。

首先，同性恋者除了与同性相爱别无选择，禁止同性恋就剥夺了这个少数群体恋爱的权利；但乱伦不同，没有任何人是只对自己的血亲“来电”的，任何乱伦者都有与血亲之外的其他人产生恋爱关系的可能性。

其次，合法的同性恋是发生在两个独立的成年人之间的关系，而乱伦的双方由于有血缘关系，他们之间的关系就很可能复杂化成不平等的性关系。这也是为什么很多学校严禁师生恋爱，很多公司禁止“办公室的罗曼史”的原因，而乱伦则是这种“禁恋”的极至。