秀色可餐 (02)

ZT: 移民申请离奇案 电话同性爱申请团聚

加国无忧 2006年07月09日，来源：环球华报

一名加拿大女子最近向加拿大移民及难民局移民上诉，坚决要求当局為她在香港的同性伴侣办理亲属团聚移民。这名女子说，她和那位同性伴侣一直通过长途电话做 爱，有一次更长达6个小时，因此已有超过一年的亲密关係，符合移民法的要求。不过，移民上诉部门拒绝了这个上诉申请。

据国家邮报报道，该 案件中的上诉人是Erlinda Arellano Ursua，而申请前来团聚的则是Versalina Ollero Valmonte。两人其实早在1982年圣诞夜的舞会中撞见，Ursua表示与Valmonte一见钟情，并尝试用电话攻势，希望两人可以发展成為“好 朋友”。

后来，Ursua於1987年以家务助理的类别下，取得加拿大移民身分，这时，孤单的情绪，令她与香港前来的另一名女子 Minerva Maconas，瞬间坠入情网，更谱出一段长达10年的同性恋关係，直到2000年4月。正因如此，Ursua那时并未想到要申请Valmonte到加拿 大团聚。Ursua虽然在加国有亲密女友，但她仍然经常与Valmonte保持电话联络，隻不过，从1985年一直到1998年这段期间，两人隻在 1988年见过一次面，接下来的见面即是经过14年之后，两人结伴去度假时，那时已经是2002年的10月底。

移民及难民局的审裁员认 為，移民法中同居配偶的定义為两人实际发生肉体关係，如果要申请海外的同居配偶移民，则必须至少有1年的亲密关係，而靠“电话性爱”(phone sex)维持性爱关係，不足够符合有关规定。审裁员博伊尔在判决中说，“我不相信如此‘远程’(long-range)的亲密关係，足够构成移民法中所说 的同居配偶关係(conjugal relationship)”。

博伊尔接著说，移民法中所说的同居配偶关係指的是两个人实际发生的肉体关係，依他所见，移民法并未预期会有人想到用电话性爱等行為，作為眞实同居配偶关係的证据，因此移民法并未清楚作出规范，但他也无法接受上诉人加上电话性爱时期去达致法定要求1年的同居配偶关係的说法。

Thinking str8 is not enough...

Below is from "Savage love".

Last weekend I was stuck in a hotel room in Portland, Oregon, on account of a teensy-weensy hangover, and I caught a marathon of the MTV dating show. Here's how the show works: One person – say, a boy – goes on a blind date with a girl. If the boy doesn't like the girl, he says "Next!" and one of four other girls, all waiting on a bus, takes the first girl's place. The rejected girl returns to the bus to be cruelly mocked by her rivals. The boy continues barking "Next!" until he finds a girl he likes. Sometimes there are five boys on the bus and a girl barks "Next!"; and every once in a while five gay boys are on the bus and another gay boy barks "Next!"

While the gay episodes demonstrate to MTV's impressionable viewers that young gay people are really no different – they're every bit as shallow, vapid and crude as their straight counterparts – not one of the gay episodes really worked. Instead of anxiously waiting to see which of the five will be chosen, viewers of the gay instalments of Next anxiously wait for the five boys on the bus to strip down and get it on. The gay boys on the Next bus aren't rivals, MTV, they're all potential matches, which makes the one guy who isn't on the bus nearly irrelevant. In all three of the gay episodes I saw, the boys on the bus were more into each other then they were into the boy for whose affections they were supposedly competing; in gay Next the boy who "won" a second date with the boy-who-wasn't-on-the-bus declined, preferring to run off with one of the other guys on the bus.

Recreating the "five bitchy rivals" dynamic that makes the hetero episodes of Next so entertaining wouldn't be that hard, MTV. Here's all you need to do: Put five hairy bears on the bus who are only attracted to pretty twinks and let them compete for the, er, hand of one pretty twink. Or five white guys that are only into Asian guys competing for an Asian guy. Or five tops and one bottom. Or five Log Cabin Republicans and one CPA. Take a little more care with the casting and pre-interviews, MTV, and you'll be able to solve Next's gay problem. You're welcome.

我曾经给一个好友说过：同志圈的有一个独特现象是：“情敌”可以转化为“情人”，这是传统的男女关系中绝对不可想象的。Dan Savage的这个故事算是一个例证吧。